With Words
by the Quiet Minstrel
Summary: Words. To Heero, they hold the power to expose the truth. To Duo, they are a vessel for emotion. When Duo's rising success collides with Heero's fight for independence, who will get the last word?
1. Chapter 1

**With Words **

_By: The Quiet Minstrel _

Disclaimer: Welcome to my AU, 1x2, GW, M-rate fic! Note: this is an AU, 1x2, GW, M-rate fic . If any of those do not appeal to you, this would be a great time to get familiar with your left-faced arrow on the screen. Now, I will say this, "If you haven't anything nice to say, than you needn't say it at all." So flamers, you are especially warned, this is an M rated fic. That includes: language, sex, mentions, consequences and the act of rape, and homosexuality. So! With open eyes, an open mind, and open heart, may I present: With Words.

**Chapter One: to Gain that which is Lacking**

Heero sat in the coffee shop, his right hand idly holding a pencil over a notepad as he rested his chin in his left. The smell of coffee beans and the sound of people chatting quietly usually roused something deep in his mind. But today it wasn't cutting it. Nothing was inspiring him. Behind glasses he perused the couples again and was looking for something essential, something pivotal that relationships stood on. Mondays must not have been good days for finding the meaning in life, love or loss, Heero concluded, tapping his pencil against his pad. The world-famous author sat, unnoticed by all, struggling with finding his next well from which to draw a story. His own life was of no inspiration, no literary worth, so he had to glimpse elsewhere and vicariously experience enough to write.

His right hand twitched slightly and something hit him. In his life he had not had love, and he had no family or best friends so no major loss. But he had a lack of all of those things. He lacked.

_It is so simple to identify when we are without love, when we are without purpose, when we are without those things that society tells us we should have. Yet, it should be simpler to identify when we, ourselves, are merely and undeniably lacking. Is it always some—thing—that has to be lacking…can it not just be us functioning as "the thing?" Is it so impossible that we spend our time obsessed over what we love, what we have lost, and what we lack when it is our very selves that is deficient? Has no man paused to think that for a moment it was not the one he lost but himself? Was it not his lover that was lacking, but himself? Sure, in the movies, in books, in our own speech we say that it is ourselves that are lacking but lying alone at night can we admit that to ourselves? We are alone because we lack? Is there something genetically or socially engrained upon us that forces us to believe our emotional poverty is induced by what is around us and not what we have done to ourselves or let ourselves fall into? _

Heero looked up, at nothing in particular and then looked down and reread what he had just written. "I lack," he whispered to himself, tasting the words on his tongue, feeling his mouth move around the letters. Yet, when he spoke them he felt as though he were still speaking about someone that was not him or as though someone had just told him to repeat those two words. "I lack," he muttered again, trying to understand the true meaning of taking the blame, of stepping into reality.

Slowly, he felt his first reaction to the statement and it caused him to sit back and take his glasses off so he could rub at his eyes. He suddenly felt tired as though if all his work had got him here, it was worth entirely nothing. He severely lacked.

"Excuse me?"

The voice was seductively husky and there was a ring to the timbre of the man's voice that caused Heero to look up almost expectantly. He had never heard a voice like that before. It was as though the man was singing but it was clear it was simple speech. The rasp wasn't that of a sick man's rasp but it sounded as though his throat was clogged with passion and in response to that revelation, heat flared up on Heero's neck.

"Are you all right?" the man asked again.

"Hai, I am fine," Heero managed to respond. Was it truly a man he was looking at? If it was, he was the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

Cobalt eyes lit with a smile and full lips completed the expression. "You looked so sad for a moment; I just had to make sure you were going to be okay."

Heero just sat and blinked. A total stranger was_ concerned_ for him? "It's nothing," he dismissed, turning his attention away and back onto his notepad.

Duo stood back for a second. What a mystery this man was. One second he looked ready to hang himself to escape depression, the next he looked lost and dazed, the next he looked flustered, the next he was clearly staring at Duo in awe and then he just…dismissed him all together.

"Can I buy you anything to drink?" Duo offered after a long moment, putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head to get a better angle. He spoke slowly with an inflection of humor, "I noticed you didn't have one…and you're in a coffee shop."

Heero blinked. Was it a coffee he lacked or was it the inability to realize he should have purchased one for the sake of fitting in? Was it the coffee he lacked or was it he?

"No, thank you, I already had one," Heero lied.

"You'll have to forgive me, I guess I'm too inquisitive for my own good, but are you sure you are all right?"

"Do you mind me asking why you care so much about a total stranger?" Heero countered.

Duo took a single step backwards and then his smile returned. "Are you always this straightforward?"

"That's a kind way of putting it—most would say inept."

"Ah, well, Einstein did flunk high school mathematics. It's all in the perspective."

"It's all in the willingness to give the time and effort into trying a perspective," Heero corrected.

"Touché," Duo praised, his eyes lighting up with something more than a smile. "The name is Duo Maxwell," he introduced sitting down.

"Heero Yuy."

"Japanese?"

Heero simply nodded.

"Journal?" Duo asked, nodding towards the notepad.

Heero instantly brought the pad into the security of his arm to hide the writing and shook his head. "Work."

Duo nodded and then took a slow sweep of the room. "Hopefully it's not a news article, this joint isn't exactly hopping."

"No, I'm not a journalist."

"A novelist then."

"Yes," Heero reluctantly admitted, careful to answer in English this time. He had found out in the most uncomfortable ways that _hai_ often sounded like _hi_, a word he was loathe to ever using.

"I'll have to find your name on the bookshelves."

"You won't find it there."

"Ah, so you have a pseudonym. I'll have to try a little harder then."

"Why are you so interested in reading my work?" Heero asked, slowly, unsure of what kind of verbal game they were playing. He looked back up at the man that had the most gorgeous and the longest hair he had ever seen. He had the strangest urge to reach out and touch it to see if it felt as silky as it looked.

"You interest me," Duo admitted without hesitation.

"That sounds awfully straightforward," Heero warned, a tiny smile tugging insistently on the right side of his mouth.

"I'm a musician by hobby and my genre of music does not beat around the bush in terms of lyrics."

"Rock or metal," Heero concluded.

Duo leaned forward, his eyes all but glittering, causing Heero to feel slightly dizzy when he looked too long at them. "Yes, dead on. I'll bet you hate rock."

Heero shook his head. "It's my favorite, in fact. I feel that it, as a genre in general, conveys the most honest of emotions, is the only genre where the individual actually looks introspectively for the heart of the problem—of the pain—and is quite frankly the most sincere in passion. You either have to be brutally honest with yourself or extremely intelligent to write music for rock or metal."

It was Duo's turn to blink and he took a long moment to truly study the man sitting across from him. Never had anyone conveyed back to him his own reasons for loving the music he lived for. No one ever understood why he wrote, why he sang, why he screamed. It wasn't because he was angry all the time. It wasn't because he hated life or someone else. Whoever this man was sitting in front of him understood the deepest part of his soul. A man like that would never come again. He had to do something. After a long moment in silence he finally decided upon the best course of action. "I am buying you a coffee, and then when I get over my own feelings of being stupid and immature by writing my number down on a napkin, I am going to leave and hope to hear from you again. Heero Yuy, people like you are rare and not something to be ignored."

Heero felt like he was watching from a third person's perspective as the next twenty minutes ensued and, indeed, the man named Duo bought him a coffee and wrote his number down on a napkin. Never once did he blush or look away though he had admitted to embarrassment and immaturity. He faced up to his emotions and the risk he ran of total rejection. At long last, but what only felt like seconds, he stood to leave.

"One last question," Heero cut in quickly, almost reaching out to stop Duo physically. If anyone was honest enough to answer it, it would be Duo.

"Shoot," Duo invited, smiling warmly down at Heero.

"In life, when we feel we _lack_ something, do you believe it is indeed a thing we lack or something within ourselves?"

Duo thought for a minute, his small smile never wavering and then he spoke. "I could say I lack _your_ telephone number but the truth is, my friend, I lack the ability to make you trust me enough to give it to me. Until next time," he concluded, turning and walking out with a small wave.

Heero watched him go. Never had a man looked so enticing when he walked. He swallowed hard, trying to imagine Duo up on stage. Certainly, he had to have a big following. He should have asked for the band name. He should have given him his number. He should have been brave enough to give his penname. The only problem was that throughout the entire conversation, Duo was so enchanting, so entrancing that Heero simply…

… _lacked _the ability to think clearly enough to do so.

(O)(O)(O)

Heero answered the phone and put his coffee down long enough to pick up a pen to continue scribbling something down, despite the fact he was about to have a conversation.

"Heero? It's Millardo. I want to hear progress."

"Mm-hm," Heero merely responded.

"Are you working right now?"

"Mm-hm."

There was a long silence. "Anything you can bring into the office soon?"

"Mm-hm."

"Next Monday, have a piece of the draft submitted to us—we're eager to see what Wing Zero can do after such a hiatus."

"Mm-hm."

Millardo just hung up the phone and when Heero heard the click he stared back at the phone. "Hiatus?" he murmured in horror and anger. Like that son of a bitch had written an introspective sentence in his life. He had no idea what it took to write what Heero wrote. The nerve of that man.

For the millionth time, Heero considered just changing his penname and finding a new publishing house that would leave him alone when he wanted to work and when he needed to think. He sat for a long moment in the quiet of his apartment, Celtic music wafting softly through the loft via strategically placed surround sound speakers. Lately, he was considering a lot of things revolving around his career. He was once told in college that experiencing change is like experiencing death and indeed, a part of you must die to make room for the new. It is a time of denial, fear, anger, depression but ultimately of good. One must always believe that change is good. Yet, Heero was a person of little faith and every time he ran up against the idea of change he stuttered to a halt. In a world that did not guarantee a writer a living, change could be just as much for the bad as the good. He wanted to leave his company, he wanted to break out of his genre, and he wanted to fall so far into obscurity that no one sought him out for book signings, magazine interviews, TV shows or movie contracts. All he wanted to do was write and hopefully reach someone out there who cared.

Someone who cared…

Heero's eyes locked onto the napkin pinned to his corkboard. Duo. Someone who cared. He was probably the second or third person ever in Heero's life who cared about him without ever having read a line of his work. How many days had it been that he had not slept but just continued to write and write and write on the idea of the individual lacking and never the thing? How many days had Duo waited vulnerably for his call? Was he even waiting?

Well, at least it was apparent he was expecting Heero to call. He had made that much clear. Before Heero's mind even acknowledged the notion of calling him, his body had and was responding accordingly. His heart rate was up; he felt his hands get clammy. It took him a moment to realize why he was acting the way he was. He was going to call Duo. What day of the week was it anyways? Heero looked. Friday. Now, he really had to call.

With a sigh and shaky fingers, Heero picked the phone back up and dialed the number on the napkin. It rang almost five times and when Heero felt the need to hang up to collect himself and recover from the fear gripping him, Duo answered.

"Duo Maxwell! Who's this?"

Talk about straightforward, Heero thought.

"It's Heero Yuy—the odd guy from the coffee shop."

"Heero! How are you? I was hoping you'd call sometime this weekend. It's great to hear from you! What's new?"

Heero hesitated. What did he answer first? Did he answer in order? "I—I'm fine and nothing's really new, just working on my next novel."

"Oh, that's great. I thought you might have found some inspiration when I ran into you at the coffee shop. So, any plans for tonight?"

"Actually, no—I just sort of woke up from my writer's coma," Heero admitted, shocked he was disclosing one of his worst traits to a virtual stranger.

"Wow, there is so much about your world I'd love to learn. That sounds fascinating. Is it like you don't even know what you're writing? I've heard that authors sometimes go back and reread their work and have a hard time believing that was them. Wow. That's pretty cool. Hey! My band is playing at The Factory tonight; you should come by at nine o'clock. Open bar, dancing, good music, the works! We play a short set and then you and I can just enjoy the ambiance for the rest of the night. Sound good?"

Heero again hesitated. Duo was unlike any person he had ever spoken to. His voice was low and husky but he sounded so genuinely happy and excited—it felt contagious. Normally, Heero would never go to a club but he found himself accepting.

"Wonderful. I'll see you there tonight. I've gotta head off to class now—I'll see ya!"

Heero hung up and then the last sentence hit him like an epiphany. Class? Was this man a college student? Was he really a kid? How much older was Heero than this guy? Was he just going to school later in life? Heero had a doctorate degree already.

"Oh God…" he groaned, putting his head down on the desk, deciding he was just going to sleep until eight so he didn't have to worry about all the stupid thoughts popping into his head and tearing his sanity to sheds before he ever was able to get to the source to answer his questions. Duo Maxwell, whoever he was, had no idea who he was getting himself involved with, Heero concluded.

(O)(O)(O)

Up to that moment, Heero had considered turning around and going home about fifty times. But the instant the flimsy ticket was pushed into his palm, he knew he had really gone too far. A crowd behind him pushed him through the doors and though his eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, his ears were ringing with the loud bass that thrummed through his body and the heavy club music that assaulted him. He was immediately aware, as well, of how many people were assessing him. He wasn't sure if this was a spot only for regulars and outsiders were always under scrutiny or maybe he just looked so out of place. He looked down at his outfit again. Heero had tried to dress as neutrally as possible by wearing a long-sleeved black T-shirt and dark jeans. Was it that he had put his contacts in for the outing and run some mousse through his hair that caused him to stand out? His most trusted friend had assured him this appearance was safe under all circumstances. Yet, at the moment, he did not feel so safe.

"Hello, hello, hello!" a DJ called from the stage. "All you sexy people out there, we have the highlight of this evening behind the curtain, ready to go. The only question is—are you ready?"

A huge uproarious cheer broke out and people pushed close to the stage. Heero found a spot in the bar area that overlooked the stage from about four feet up off the dance floor and figured it was the best place for him to observe. Suddenly, his right hand twitched. Should he simply be observing or should he be experiencing? Right here, right now, he had the opportunity to go down there and be a part of the action, a part of the environment. But his feet were glued to the spot and no matter how much he knew he should be down there, he hung back as the curtain began to rise.

The stage lights were a deep red and it made the musicians appear hazy for a moment before Duo stepped into the one spotlight in the center of the stage. There was a smirk on his lips, though Heero barely caught the expression. He was too distracted by the general beauty of the man. He wore a very, very tight black T-shirt with two black leather cuffs around each wrist. There was a large and intricate cross tattooed over his left bicep and his pants, despite the fact that they were jeans, were hugging in all the right places. His eyes were closed and his pale hands clutched the microphone. From that moment forward, Heero was just as lost in the music as he was lost in the surreally beautiful singer. Their songs ranged anywhere from angst-ridden ballads, to defiant lyrics riding along a fast and heavy melody. Throughout the entire set was the slight taste of an Egyptian harmony and the foreign and ancient musical undertone was extremely effective with Duo's husky but perfectly pitched voice that swung easily through notes, ascending and descending with the same kind of ebb and flow as the Egyptian backbeat.

"This last one," Duo spoke softly into the microphone, his smile finally showing some flash of white teeth. "Is for someone out there, different from the rest. Someone who understands that we don't understand. He is the bravest man I know to face our darkest qualities and this is our newest piece, just for him. It's called, 'when I look inside.'"

Heero froze and felt his heart skip a beat. Duo had written a song for him? About him? Though of course no one was going to know the song was for the man hiding in the shadows, Heero felt as though the spotlight had turned on him.

The song started out slow and Duo's voice rose just above the guitar.

_When I look inside, I have to stare_

_Just to see what's lurking there._

_I run, and scream, and blame_

_I want to shun this blatant shame. _

_But I will not look away, _

_Outside, _

_Or any place for me to hide. _

_Because I know, when _you_ look inside_

_You find the truths we all deny. _

The beat picked up then, sexual, fast, beating, demanding. The crowd exploded with wild enthusiasm.

_Tell me what you see, _

_Behind those deep blue eyes! _

_I need to understand but I cannot demand_

_You show me what's inside your dark and secret mind._

_If ever there was a chance, for me to face myself,_

_It's you, with me, and nothing—nothing—else. _

_When I look inside, I don't see what your eyes see,_

_And I need to know what sets you free,_

_To be with me_

_Only me._

_What happens when you look inside? _

At times it was hard to hear the lyrics, the crowd was so boisterous. Duo's eyes perused the audience as he continued to sing, the climax of the song erupting in the huskiest scream Heero had ever heard, his groin instantly tightening, his breath escaping in one big rush. Then it died swiftly, the beat dying back down to the soft melody he had started with.

Their eyes locked and Duo smiled, sensually, warmly.

_When you look inside,_

_You see the spaces, _

_Where there should be things in places._

_But when I look inside, it's too true,_

_All I see is me needing you _

_Tell me what it is you see,_

_When you look inside…_

…_is it me? _

The stage instantly dropped to black and the curtains fell swiftly with the crowd exploding into the loudest applause of the evening. Heero just stood, his hands unable to pull away from the railing he was holding onto. In all his life, he had never felt this way. The world as he knew it had tilted on its axis and suddenly nothing made sense. There was no denying the truth in the lyrics; Duo would have never been able to write something so direct about a real person without it being true. The message was loud and clear but Heero could not respond. He could only stare straight ahead, his body trembling slightly, unsure of what to even think.

It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he jumped back into reality.

"It's just me," Duo's voice was low and soothing as he stepped up beside Heero. "I'm so glad you came." Was there a hint of shyness at long last in his voice? Heero wasn't sure he heard right.

"That song…" Heero started, trying to figure out what he wanted to say but not even knowing where to start.

Duo's laugh was biting and wry. "It's the biggest risk I've ever taken in my life. I understand that you'll never want to speak to me again—I sound like a desperate stalker. The truth was, though, that I dreamed that song up the night after we met and I just wrote it down…one of my band-mates insisted I put the lyrics to this melody we had and…well…ta-da, instant creeper single."

Heero's eyes locked onto Duo's and there was a long silence between them for a moment. "I have a doctorate in contemporary literature and a master's in historical literature."

Duo smiled and looked away. "I have a bachelor's in sociology and I'm pursuing my master's degree. I want to get my Ph.D. so I can become a professor—sociology is too important of a concept to have students ignore it because washed-up teachers botch their responsibilities. Until kids are aware of society's influence, they can never rise above or challenge it."

"I'm twenty-nine," Heero murmured, looking down at the dance floor which was swaying with couples.

"I'll be twenty-five in a few months."

"My parents were famous activists and anthropologists—they left me with a nanny, a butler and housing staff when I was seven. I saw them only on two holidays each year and once on a family vacation. My father died two years ago and my mother remarried without telling me—we don't really speak."

"I was raised in an orphanage—never adopted. My last name is from the priest who funded the home. My older brother named me when I got my birth certificate. His nickname was Solo, so being as young as he was, he thought he was being loving and smart by putting Duo down as my official name."

"My penname is Wing Zero, after the street I grew up on—Wing, and name, Zero, the name kids on the street used to call me when they wanted to make fun of me."

"I work for the university right now, just as an assistant to a professor. It pays pretty well but I have little respect for him—I want to be the one to take over his job and right his wrongs. I worry that sometimes the two things I want most in life will cancel each other out and I'll be left with nothing. You can't be on tour and be a professor at the same time. I don't know which to pick, if one is better than the other."

"I published a romance novel once under some name I can't even remember."

Both fell into silence and let the music kind of take them over. They stared together out over the crowd and Duo sighed at long last. "It's nice to meet you," he murmured.

"Likewise." And Heero meant it.

"So before I never see you again; would you like to dance?"

Ah, there it was again. Observe those dancing and glean what one can from watching or experience it in its full glory. With Duo standing so close to him, his cologne addicting and his presence intoxicating, Heero hardly thought to deny the offer. He wanted to experience.

A loud, techno/rock song began to blast over the speakers by the time Duo and Heero got onto the floor and the masses were so clustered together, no one could tell anyone apart except who they were dancing with. Duo turned his back on Heero, reached behind him to grab Heero's wrists and directed his hands onto the wide flare of his hipbones against the front pocket of his jeans. Heero swallowed hard but his mouth was too dry for any kind of relief. He felt like everyone was watching him but when he looked around no one was. They were too involved with their own lives, as Heero should have been with his. He was painfully aware of the bone structure beneath Duo's clothing and the way those bones and tendons shifted under his fingers as Duo began to sway and rock with the music. After a minute or two, Duo was nestled firmly up against Heero; his hands reaching back to control the sway of Heero's legs, his fingers resting in the muscular dip next to his quads. The first song mixed right into the second and it was a sexually driven song and Duo was swept right along with it—forcing Heero to move along with him. Their breathing was becoming heavier as Duo ground sensually onto Heero and placed Heero's hands under the hem of his shirt to feel his contracting abdominals. So caught up in the music, in the dark environment, in the night itself, Heero pressed his hips up against Duo's backside to let his partner feel his arousal. The long-haired man's response was to lean his head back far enough to rest on Heero's collarbone and press a single kiss against the base of his neck. Fingers instantly gripped tight on Duo's hips and the long-haired man smiled as they both fought for their own self control, all whist maintaining their provocative movements.

They almost missed the transition into the next song. It was slow and loving and just as Heero was getting the idea of what intimacy their previous kind of dancing involved, Duo turned in his hold, wrapped his arms around Heero's neck and placed his cheek against his breastbone. Heero looked at the couple next to him, followed the example, and placed his arms around Duo's lower back. He realized for the first time that he stood about half a foot above Duo and the position they were dancing in was even more intimate somehow, but an undeniable perfect fit. Heero looked down at Duo to see the man's eyes closed, a small smile on his lips and in that moment, the man who had decided he lacked something vital in human nature, who had never had anyone to love, felt his first twinge of genuine affection. He was pleased beyond words he could put that expression on Duo's face; he was enraptured that Duo looked so natural nestled in his arms. He removed one hand very carefully and used it to sweep back a few strands of Duo's bangs and just mindlessly fuss with his partner's hair for a few minutes as he remembered his nanny had done to him in their quiet moments when she wanted him to feel better or soothed. Duo's smile deepened and he visibly snuggled closer as they swayed and turned slowly to the beat.

The moment was over all too soon and both men decided it was time for a drink. Back up at the bar, both with plain water in their hands, they just spoke quietly about menial things, just to find an excuse to be together. It was an hour later that they were finally interrupted by one of Duo's band members, breathless, crystalline eyes aglow, saying that some producer from a record company had heard them and wanted to sign them the following week. Duo stood up immediately and took a step to follow his friend before he stopped, told the musician to go on ahead of him, and then turned back to Heero.

"I hope…" Duo started out slowly, reaching out to Heero to touch his face. "This is not the end."

Heero stood up and very much out of character, drew Duo into his arms. "Check your back pocket," he murmured, dropping a kiss to the man's cheek.

Duo was fast though, and he turned his head just as Heero went to pull back and their lips met. In the dark shadows of the club, the bass counting the beats of their hearts, pounding in unison, their mouths fused in a slow, thorough kiss, Heero knew something pivotal had changed.

When Duo pulled back his smile was so beautiful and radiant, Heero felt he didn't know how he would live without it once Duo turned to go. They stared at each other for a long moment before Duo looked the direction his friend had gone. "I'll call you," he promised somberly.

"I'll be waiting," Heero assured.

No kiss followed, just the slow parting of two people, their fingertips the last thing to let go as Duo slipped away and Heero let him, knowing that the only way to see him again was to actually let him leave. He sighed, feeling it was time for him to make an exit, and he did.

As he walked out of the club, leaving the ambiance behind, the gravity of the moment finally set in. Yes, something extremely pivotal had changed within him.

He realized…he had just begun to live.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So, I danced in college…I didn't cheer. But I need a rally for this story. Very little response. I'm posting this second chapter based only on the hits this story received. Please, if you like it review so I know that someone's enjoying this. If you didn't like it, review so I know when to drop a lost cause. Help me out people! Or knock me down, that's fine, too! So, without further ado or whining (or cheering, be glad you're spared), chapter two.

Chapter Two: Office Deals and Dealings

The sound of a heavy _thwack_ roused Millardo from his laptop and he looked up to see the stubborn and extremely impossible Heero Yuy. If this man was not as valuable to the company as he was, Millardo would have tossed him out on his ass long ago. Yet, when he expected to see rumpled hair and a shirt buttoned one button off, he was in for a shock.

Heero was wearing a pair of dark, casual jeans and an olive button down shirt, tucked in at his trim waist and the top two buttons undone. His hair had some subtle product in it that gave the thick mass some semblance of control and shine. His glasses were new, thinner black frames and a bolder square style.

"An outline and a small sample," Heero said without any inflection. "I will not agree to a deadline and I will contact you when it is finished. To ease your burden slightly, I will release a shorter piece in between—set that deadline as you please."

"This had better be damn good," Millardo growled. "And why so much time?"

"I have a life to live and I'm not getting any younger. If you want my work, you're going to have to be patient. Otherwise, I'm fine going elsewhere and you know I am."

Ice-blue eyes met deep blue and they stared off for a long moment, Heero's raised eyebrow indicating the power struggle was pointless. He was the vital asset and he knew it. Millardo would have to be subservient in this matter.

"I thought you a creature of habit," Millardo detoured, looking back at his laptop. "What's with the change?"

Heero's smirk was wry and he put his hands on his hips in a lazy gesture. "It happens," he answered noncommittally.

"Obviously, it did. I was wondering how."

When Millardo looked up after his comment was followed by silence, Heero was looking down at his cell phone, texting something, a small smile on his face.

"Ah, not how—who. Do I need to put this individual on the payroll to ensure this upward path continues?"

Heero's phone snapped closed and his eyes went to the manila folder on the desk. "I can take that with me and I will if you're going to mock me. This is for a hobby, not a profession, and I seriously have no obligation or investment in this company. I have never asked for kindness or understanding but I will not endure your sarcasm or your insults. It has nothing to do with work—it comes down to common courtesy."

The silence that ensued was uncomfortable and tense. Millardo sighed and took the manila in his hands and bowed his head for a moment. "I was out of line," he confessed at long last. He gritted his teeth and then sighed. "I apologize. She must be a very special person."

"He is."

"_He_?!" Millardo choked.

"Yes, he."

Millardo sat back and ran a hand through his bangs. "That would explain your strong opposition to my sister's advances all these years—the only thing you ever spoke up against prior to this moment." He smiled after a long moment. "Well, that takes a lot off my mind."

"Glad to be of service," Heero murmured. "So, are we in agreement?"

"Yes: no deadline on this piece but I can expect a tide-over around Christmastime."

"Let me know what the deadline is for the holiday piece. Any requests on themes?"

"Something uplifting, hopeful, and just feel-good. Women are our best customers around the holidays."

Heero nodded and turned to go. Millardo thought it was funny that Heero Yuy was a man that never said hello or goodbye. He wondered how that worked out in a relationship. Did his special someone just let him come and go as he pleased? God, just trying to imagine what kind of person Heero Yuy was compatible with was almost an impossible and frightening task.

"Whoever you are," Millardo muttered under his breath, opening the manila folder and reaching for the papers inside. "You're already worth a million dollars in this company."

(O)(O)(O)

"A million dollars?" Heero failed at being nonchalant.

"That's just to produce the record—it has nothing to do with the touring."

"So you've signed an agreement to tour already?"

Duo looked up from his sandwich and sighed. "Yes…and no. So when I met these guys in college we all agreed that if our music ever made it somewhere, we, ourselves, were not going to be famous for it. I do not want my face to be known and sought out by the entire planet. I enjoy my privacy and I want—no—I _will_ protect the privacy of those I love. We agreed to one tour a year and we will never show our faces. The producer loved the idea and thinks the allure and the mystery will sell itself just as much if not more than our faces."

"You know if the media ever found out who you were the repercussions would be even worse," Heero pointed out though deep down he was relieved to hear that Duo was not going to up and leave town once their single hit the radio. "But your consideration towards your loved ones and the desire to keep them safe is very honorable."

Duo smiled slightly. "You're very famous yourself—or at least, Wing Zero is."

Heero shrugged. "Writing books is a world apart from writing lyrics and my popularity consists of those…" he died off. "Well, of those individuals like myself I suppose."

"Gorgeous, honest, intelligent individuals?" Duo murmured, the wink that followed barely decipherable.

"I was implying more along the lines of socially rejected, quiet, unsure and up until this point, alone individuals."

"Is that what you think you are?"

"That is what I am…" Heero paused and frowned. "Was…something in between maybe."

Duo reached out and put his hand over Heero's and squeezed just slightly. Their eyes met each other and Heero sighed.

"I've always been like this and to some extent I always will be," Heero spoke in a low voice, sounding too much like he was apologizing.

"Good; because I like you for who you are and not what you could be made into. If this isn't too serious of a request, I know a girl at the orphanage who is sixteen—she adores your work. It is what keeps her going. Maybe I could talk you into meeting with her?"

"No," Heero murmured as Duo's eyes went wide with shock. He smiled softly. "No persuasion necessary. I'd be happy to meet with her. I refuse to meet with those who have read my adult works but for all of the children and teens who have read the work I wrote for them, I would fly around the world just to speak with them."

"So children are a kryptonite for you too, then?" Duo asked tentatively, too scared to hope.

Heero looked down at their hands, still folded over each other's and sighed. "Yes. I'm horrible with them. They tend to cry around me. Yet…I believe that every child deserves…to be…" he broke off and looked out the window.

"To be loved," Duo finished, his voice low and grave. "But not every adult?"

"By adulthood we have done so many things to make ourselves unworthy of love. I think it hardly fair we should ever put ourselves in the same category as children."

"Heero, you are not a separate person from that boy who grew up on Wing Street without his parents. You and he are one in the same."

"Duo," Heero bit out, his breath becoming shaky. In public he would have never taken a tone with Duo, but in the privacy of Duo's office on campus, he couldn't stop himself. "My reality is held up by the notion that it is the things that I did that led me to be the person I am today, in the situations I am in. That boy on Wing Street was helpless to his situation but I am not. And if you try to connect my aloneness as anything other than a failure on my behalf, I will not be able to stand the consequences that come with it." He was silent for a long moment, his breathing audible before he turned and looked at Duo. "It has taken me so many years to tell myself that it is not I that is unlovable but it is the things I have done that make me so."

Duo didn't blink, didn't move. He sat for a moment, his eyes refusing to let Heero's retreat. Then, in an instant, he stood and just when Heero thought Duo had lost his patience and was going to leave, the braided man rounded the table, grabbed Heero by his jacket lapels, pulled him into a standing position and pressed his lips hard against the other man's. Duo's fingers were quick to twine through Heero's hair to hold the man in place and ensure he did not escape.

"I know we only met a few weeks ago. And I may not know everything about you. And yeah, it's true that what we share at this moment is not undying love in its truest form. But I _do_ know that you are capable of being loved. That you deserve love. And by God, I want to be the one to give it to you."

Duo sounded angry, vengeful even and Heero had to swallow hard to regain some of his composure.

"You aren't the only one who struggles to separate themselves from their childhood," Duo almost growled. "You aren't the only one that wonders what's so wrong with you that even as a child no one wanted you. But I've learned something—sometimes fate is cruel and makes you suffer for a long time just so you savor relief when it is finally granted. I've watched kids grow up loved and watched them squander the relationships with the greatest people in their lives because they do not understand the gift that had been handed to them. And if it means that I had to be alone and suffer all my childhood, all my teenage years and into my adult life just so that when that one gift was given to me I would not fuck it up, then I am glad that I never had a mother and father who loved me. I am glad that people laughed at me and shunned me in high school. Because that gift is worth it to me." Duo lowered his head and sighed heavily.

Heero pulled Duo in close and put one of his pale hands with long slender fingers over Duo's head to cradle him against his heartbeat. "Because," he whispered into Duo's hair. "_This_ is worth it."

"Are you _always_ so straightforward?" Duo's voice was exasperated but Heero could feel a smile against his chest.

"Mmm, yes I am." Heero almost did not recognize his own voice. It was lower, huskier. He felt it rumble in his chest and watch as Duo shivered ever-so slightly in response. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing."

"So you wouldn't want to get all dressed up and go to a…a…party of sorts."

"A party? For whom?"

"Uh, well…" Heero died off. He bit out a small laugh. "Me, actually. My most recent novel is being made into a motion picture and my company thinks it's imperative we put a lot of money into a party just to announce what everyone already knows."

"I didn't know," Duo pointed out softly.

Heero blushed for the first time since the night at the club. "Yeah, I actually forgot about it until today. My manager called me to remind me."

"You forgot about the party or the movie?" Duo pushed.

Heero let Duo go and turned to look out of the window. He ran a hand through his hair and then down around his neck, squeezing the tense muscles there for a minute.

"You forgot about the movie," Duo breathed. All at once he smiled. God, he felt like he was falling in love at terminal velocity. He walked over to Heero and wrapped his arms around the slightly taller man. With a gentle kiss to the tense muscles of his partner's neck, Duo lowered his cheek to rest against Heero's back and he exhaled slowly, savoring the moment. "I'd love to go."

Heero let out an audible breath. He hadn't realized he'd be holding it to begin with. "I'll come pick you up around six tonight, then."

"Wonderful," Duo murmured. "Okay then, it's back to work for me. See you tonight."

Heero put his hands briefly over Duo's, which were resting against his abdomen, and squeezed. Duo released his grip along with Heero's and both took the opportunity of silence to look into each other's eyes and then smile.

Wordlessly, Heero turned and left. Duo's smile grew into a full-blown grin when the door closed. He loved that Heero refused to say goodbye. There was safety in that habit. Duo knew they would see each other again and again. He was also in love with the idea that Heero wanted to show him off a little at an event where Duo was definitely going to be noticed being with the guest of honor. In that moment, Duo's smile went from joyous to predatory and sexual. Yes, he would gladly rise to the challenge presented before him. If all people thought of Heero was that he was an isolated, socially inept and rejected individual who could only live his life in solitude, then Duo was ready to politely correct them on their false assumption.

Politely but with volume.

(O)(O)(O)

Heero checked the address again and noted with some minor satisfaction that Duo kept residence in a nice part of town in a very well-kept apartment complex. He had worried that Duo's "decent paycheck" would not afford him a safe and comfortable place to live. Following the numbers of the buildings towards the back, Heero noticed that Duo was going to have a view out onto a lake.

Hold on a second. Why was Heero thinking so avidly about his surroundings? It was an apartment complex. The problem was what he was avoiding thinking about. He should be focusing less on the apartments and more on who lived in them. Duo. Heero had no idea what he was thinking—what he was about to do. It was a very loud and irrevocable statement he was going to make by showing up with Duo at his side. And he had a feeling that Duo was looking forward to this night.

As Heero rang the bell to Duo's apartment on the second floor, Heero mused with a small frown on his face. He didn't know every nuance of Duo's personality but Duo had been eager enough to show Heero off…what lengths would this man go to when being in the reverse role?

"Heero! Hey," Duo's husky voice penetrated his thoughts.

Oh. God.

Heero knew he should be looking into Duo's eyes but his brain seemed to be at war with what he should be doing and what he couldn't stop himself from doing. Duo was dressed in an elegant suit with a bold flair of thin, baby blue pinstripes. The pants were tailored perfectly so that it was apparent Duo had sensual, perfectly shaped legs but was modest enough to not show the full extent. The jacket was a bit tighter than a formal suit showing his tapered shoulders and tucked waist. He had a light blue shirt on under the suit that made his eyes…God, his eyes, Heero thought as the two sides of his mind reconciled and he met Duo's eyes. They were darker and brighter than Heero had ever seen them. Purple one moment and then dark blue the next.

"Decent?" Duo asked, holding his hands out, palms forward.

Heero felt his throat rumble with a small growl. Something inside of him was beginning to snap. Decent? The man was sex on two sexy legs. No person had ever wreaked such havoc on Heero's mind or body and he wasn't prepared for just how strongly he was going to react.

"Hardly," Heero groaned, pushing Duo back into the apartment and pulling the door closed behind him in one move. Shoving Duo up against the nearest wall, he pinned the man before lowering his mouth down to shocked, slightly parted lips.

A bare whimper escaped Duo as Heero plundered his mouth. Their past slow and tentative kisses up to this point had educated Heero enough to know what made Duo weak, but it was the passion behind the kiss that caused the braided man's knees to buckle. Their tongues met for a brief moment before Heero retreated and groaned.

"Rising action—conflict," Heero rasped, trying to control himself. "The protagonist is saddled with a decision."

"What is this conflict that troubles my hero?" Duo murmured, pressing moist lips against Heero's neck and groaning when their pelvises brushed.

"I want—I _want_ so much—to lock your door and spend the night with you, doing what I want with you…to you," Heero pressed a hard kiss against Duo's temple only because he had to touch Duo but was trying to soothe and calm himself at the same time. "But, if I don't show up to this event…"

"You can have both," Duo enticed. "We show up, make a few rounds, and then bow out gracefully and come back here and pick up right where we left off…you up against me…"

Heero groaned aloud but the sound died down to a sigh. "You are fast becoming an antagonist. The sexiest, handsomest antagonist I have ever seen. I do believe some of the guests will have heart attacks and not just because they are that old and decrepit."

"So you do like the suit."

"Enough to want it off you as fast as I can get it," Heero admitted, taking the hardest step of his life—away from Duo. He straightened out his own coat before Duo followed and tried to rearrange himself. "So, in order to torture myself as much as possible this evening, I suggest we go!" Heero bit out sarcastically as he opened the door and let Duo out first.

They made their way silently to the car and Duo almost choked when Heero opened and closed the door for him. Both men continued their silence in the car. Duo was in shock. How was he ever going to physically resist this man? He was perfect. A gentleman, successful, mature, kind, loving, committed…What was his rule for sex again? A month? Oh, hell, what did it matter? They were practically there anyways!

Meanwhile, Heero gripped the wheel hard. He had never, _never_ been so brash, so sexually ignited that he acted out in a manner as he had just back at the apartment. Part of him was mortified but a larger part of him felt liberated and very pleased Duo was aware of his depth and complexity of emotion towards his love interest. It was wrong to push himself onto Duo physically so soon but…

…this wasn't temporary. This was going to last. What did it matter? It was going to be sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.

Okay, well, later, Heero decided as they pulled up to the most expensive hotel in the city. But if he had anything to say about it, not too much later by the looks of how elaborate this party was going to be.

Heero was quick enough to get the door for Duo and threw the keys at the valet.

"Ready for this?" Heero murmured as they rode up the elevator to the top floor.

"More than ready," Duo all but purred in response.

Heero's warm but firm hand placed itself just past the center of Duo's back so it was somewhere between an embrace and a protective touch. Just then the doors chimed and opened to a room full of people chatting and laughing.

Duo had not expected the doors to open right up to the party but his shock was gone the moment the party went instantly silent save the background lounge music playing. He smiled and his eyes danced as he met the gaze of everyone in the room. He felt Heero's hand become firmer on his back and he glanced out of his peripheral vision to see a wry smirk on Heero's lips.

"Good evening," Heero spoke in a low and collected tone. "I thank you all for attending. Do enjoy the party this evening." Then he whispered, "Follow me."

All eyes followed them as Heero made his way to Wufei who was trying to stifle laughter by the bar. It took a moment for the shock to wear off and when it did it broke into frantic but hushed chatter—nothing even close to what the party had been prior to the second all eyes had landed on the couple.

"Yuy—can you do _anything_ without drawing mass attention to yourself?" Wufei chuckled as Heero approached.

"Well, when you're famous…" Heero attempted at keeping a straight face.

"Ha! I've never heard such bullshit in my life. Well, your last book pushed that limit but…"

Heero laughed freely and then pulled Duo a little closer. "Wufei, this is my Duo Maxwell. He works in the Sociology department at the University and is the lead singer of a band that just got signed with a major contract. Duo, this is Chang Wufei, one of my closest friends and colleagues, who has never published a book that did not make it to the New York Bestsellers list and has won too many awards to even recite."

"Though, Duo, he could," Wufei muttered. "Be careful he doesn't start to write your biography for you."

"He's just attentive," Duo amended in a gentle voice that made his husky tone even more sensual. Duo was still recovering from the bus that had hit him when Heero had referred to him as "my Duo." That felt so much more intimate, so much more serious than "my date" or even "my boyfriend." Just his. That was what Duo was. His. The warm hand on his back, the fingers curling just slightly into the material of his coat and shirt, Heero's familiar cologne, the brush of their bodies on Duo's right side…

"Yes, yes he is," Wufei agreed. "Well, Duo Maxwell, I am not content with getting to know you better in an environment like this. The three of us will have to meet over lunch sometime soon to talk reasonably without all this gossip surrounding us and buzzing in my ears like mosquitoes."

"That sounds wonderful," Duo replied. Before he could speak anymore a man with hair almost as long as his strode up and interrupted the conversation merely with his presence.

"Ah, the man of the hour," he spoke, looking directly at Duo. "I have heard nothing about you whatsoever but nevertheless, I have anticipated meeting you since I learned of your existence. I am Heero's current manager, Millardo Peacecraft. You are?"

"Duo Maxwell."

They shook hands and Duo noted that Heero's hand was not so relaxed on his back anymore. Never had Duo been so grateful that Heero kept his hand on his body as a way to communicate how he was feeling.

"My sister is around here somewhere," Millardo said nonchalantly but his ice blue eyes pierced Heero's. "I would suggest you find her before she finds you."

Heero's stony face did crack a smile in that moment. "And that is why you are my manager," Heero laughed but with little humor in his voice. "Giving me advice I can actually use. Thank you. I will deal with her next, I suppose."

"And before you leave, Heero, a small speech is expected."

"Right, well, I hope you enjoy your company's eulogy then," Heero laughed again.

"We always do, especially our PR agents," Millardo returned in the same biting fashion.

Though Duo could see how they would not get along, Heero was right. Millardo was a great manager in that he held is own ground, he represented his company while still knowing Heero well enough personally.

"Let us go find the true antagonist," Heero murmured to Duo. As they walked away, Duo couldn't help but notice that Millardo took a step closer to Wufei, his face softening just slightly, a hint of a dimple forming over the right side of his mouth when he smiled at something Wufei had said. Hm. Interesting.

Duo knew exactly when they had found Millardo's sister. Heero's hand gripped his shirt like a vice and they halted. A beautiful woman, petite, long hair, big eyes, and dressed lavishly walked up to them. She had a smile on her face but it was too painted on to look anything but glaringly fake.

"Ah, Heero, congratulations again on the success of the novel. Introductions?"

"Relena, this is my boyfriend, Duo. He works in Sociology at the university and is the lead singer for a successful band. Duo, this is Relena Peacecraft, my manager's sister."

"No one had the faintest idea that you were dating, Heero. What a surprise this is to all of us!"

Heero shrugged. "I keep my personal life private—especially the things I care about most."

"Well, that does sound like you!" she tried laughing. "Mind me asking how you two met?"

"I saw him in a coffee shop and we ended up talking over some drinks."

"Most people don't recognize Heero in public."

"I had no idea who he was. I'd never read a page of any of his books until he told me his penname and I went to the bookstore and bought a few titles."

This did seem to irk Relena and she crossed her arms. "Well, I'm happy to see you in a relationship at last Heero."

"Thank you, I am very happy to be in one."

"I wish you both the best of luck."

"I don't think we'll need it," Duo murmured looking up at Heero. "But thank you."

The fake smile slipped for a moment and Relena's true expression of anger and hurt broke through before she caught herself. She bowed her head to express her departure but as she left she whispered to Heero. "Wait until this gets you. You may not have ruined just my evening but something else far more permanent in your carelessness…"

"Trust me, Relena," Heero growled, his eyes forcing her to remain locked to his. "I have never done a careless thing in my life. _I_ _know what I am doing_."

Relena took a staggering step backwards and then turned quickly to address a friend in polite chatter and laughter.

"Well, that went well," Duo sighed.

"Duo…you have to tell me this now," Heero murmured, ducking his head lower to Duo's, his eyes almost imploring. "Your band is committed to keeping their identities secret? You being associated with me in any public manner will not harm your success, right?"

"How public are we talking?"

"Relena is making her way to the AP reporter by the stage. They will have cameras waiting when we try to leave. I can attempt to get you out unseen…"

Duo felt a small trill of fear and indecision run down his back. It had never occurred to him that this evening would endanger the success of the band in any way… But if he told Heero he didn't want to be seen with him…

"I have an idea! There was a small clothing store at the entrance of the hotel right?"

"Yes…"

"And she doesn't have a _full_ name to report, only that I'm Duo, your boyfriend…Perfect! Sweetie, how do you feel about buying me a souvenir?"

"What did you have in mind?" Heero murmured.

"A fedora."

Heero's face broke out into an instant smile. A hidden identity. Synonymous with Duo's intentions for the band but still a strong statement that Heero was with someone. It was perfect.

The reporter's head shot up to Duo and Heero and she instantly looked back at Relena, nodded a few times and began to make her way out of the party. Both men watched her go with a smile.

The party carried on as any party could carry on after such a surprise at the start of the night. It came time for Heero to give his speech and the room quieted down as Heero walked up the short flight of steps and approached the microphone. He looked down at Duo, stunning amongst the crowd, smiling at him with a subtle wink of encouragement.

"Good evening everyone. Again, thank you for attending tonight's festivities. My career as a writer is still in its early years, as most of you know, so this kind of recognition is humbling and flattering. When given this kind of undivided attention, I feel the need not to speak on the novel that inspired the movie—you've all at least read the synopsis to be here…"

Small laughter filled the room and Heero nodded.

"But, truly, all I really do is see inspiration. It is all around us—tragedy, success, loss, lust, greed…And what is important to me is that I am able to inspire at least one person in a positive light in their life. Obviously, with my recent success, that dream is being realized. So, in the spirit of celebration and well wishes, I wish that all of you may be able to do the same at least once in your lives because for writers like me, and as young as I, it would be nice to see the more joyous sources of inspiration rather than the sorrowful. Again, thank you for attending and have a wonderful evening."

There was silence for a moment, the crowd moved beyond action. And then small applause broke out, and that was all it took to bring down the dam. A flood of cheer barraged Heero as he held up a hand and ducked out of the spotlight. He strode straight up to Duo, resuming his hold on Duo's back.

"Heero," Duo said over the roar of applause. "That was…beautiful."

"Not what they expected to hear, but I am determined to put morality amongst these gluttons," he said fiercely. "And if they are even momentarily moved to action, then I have done the best I can given the circumstance. Now, to that fedora."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Change upon Season**

Cameras flashed from all angles. Duo had let his braid out, his long, thick, chestnut hair flowing freely down his back. His jacket was open and he held his right hand over his hat almost as if posing. The hat hid everything but his smile when he bowed his head and his smile was that of a predator. Heero kept his face neutral as he helped Duo into his car and sped off.

Both men stayed quiet for a long moment as Duo made sure the coast was clear enough to remove his hat and hastily throw his hair back into a braid. He looked over at Heero, who looked back at him and then both broke out in quiet laughter and did so most of the way home.

The moment Duo opened his apartment door the mood instantly changed. Heero fiddled with the fedora in his hand as they entered and Duo locked the door. He hung it up on a hanger and smiled at the memory in the making.

"So, is the suit losing its effect?" Duo asked quietly.

"Yes, now I'm afraid it is just you…which is far more dangerous," Heero murmured, approaching Duo. "I don't want to do this wrong."

"Is there any way to do it right?"

Heero smirked. "Yes. We go by how you feel."

Duo lowered his head to Heero's chest. "I feel like I want to fall asleep in your arms tonight." He was quiet for another moment longer before he spoke again, "Stay."

Heero held Duo close to him. He spent a quiet moment just twisting the braid and testing its heavy weight. Heero was lost in his revelation for a few moments before he realized just how much Duo was slumping against him. He sighed. Deep down, he was thankful tonight was not going to be the night they took their relationship into a new dimension. They had already taken one big step tonight by demonstrating their relationship at the party—there was really no need to sprint the journey so to speak.

"Let's get you to bed," Heero murmured feeling like Duo's senior for the first time since they struck up their form of a relationship. Duo nodded wordlessly and led Heero to his bedroom. Duo lethargically got Heero a brand new tooth brush from his drawer and left some sweats out on the bed. Both men prepared for bed quietly, occasionally making eye contact in the mirror or covertly admiring the other as they dressed for bed.

"I never realized you were so…" Duo blushed furiously. "I mean, I always felt that you had muscle but…"

Heero looked down at his own body as if surprised. "I enjoy exercise," he said simply.

Duo shook his head. If a little exercise gave Heero such a cut to his body, it would be a sin to see the man commit to a regime. Heero's entire upper body was very much defined. His abs were clearly cut and his biceps had a hard edge. Every muscle shifted and rippled as he moved and Duo felt his mouth go dry as his body hardened in response. It was a damn good thing he was exhausted or there was no telling what lengths he would go to in order to get Heero on top of him.

Instead of continuing his admiration, Duo slid into bed and closed his eyes, trying to breathe deep in order to fall asleep before his mind could conflict anymore. Heero looked down at the bed and had to calm his nerves before he could move. He had never actually slept with another person. Sure, he'd had sex, but it never led into a night of holding each other close and drifting off to sleep together. Somehow that felt so much more intimate than sex. With what could only be awkwardness, Heero climbed into bed and tried to position himself around Duo in a comfortable fashion. He was used to sleeping on his side but it felt strange to have a warm body tucked up against his chest. Duo reached around, took up his arm, guided it beneath his and around his body to intertwined their hands so they were entirely flush against each other and Duo had possession of his left hand. Heero realized he was holding his breath until the smallest sound of contentment escaped Duo's lips and Heero released the air all in one rush.

As darkness settled in the room and Duo drifted off, Heero found the environment very much to his liking. It was hypnotic to feel and hear Duo's soft and shallow breathing. Inhaling the scent of Duo's hair, Heero closed his eyes and realized it was very easy to relax. Somehow his mind began to drift back to their earlier conversation. Heero, despite the fact that his parents were never there to raise him, was well aware they had wanted him. He was the product of a planned pregnancy and in their own way, his parents loved him—from a distance. But Duo. Duo had spent his _entire_ life without the love of a parent to any extent and with the knowledge that he was most likely the product of a regretted event. The worst part was that Duo had to watch for 18 years as children all around him got adopted into loving families. What would it be like to be eight, nine or ten and watch little boys and girls just like you getting homes while you were always left behind?

A strong spasm tore through Heero's body and he gripped Duo tight to him, burying his face in Duo's hair. It felt like all the air had been torn from his body and his heart had somehow been ripped from its home.

"Heero?" Duo murmured in a groggy voice.

Heero pressed an apologetic kiss against Duo's temple and sighed. "I'm fine. Sorry to wake you."

"Tell me, please," Duo pressed, though his tone was still airy.

"I was just thinking about our childhoods. Well, yours mostly."

"Pity," Duo whispered, instantly hurt.

"No. Helplessness."

Duo did slightly roll over then to look up into Heero's eyes, questioning.

"If I could do anything over again, it would have been to find you sooner. I feel like there will never be enough time to give you all that you deserve."

"But I have more than I ever thought, ever dreamed to have. When I was thirteen I never imagined I could ever be where I am today. I am working towards my second degree, I have a good-paying job, a band, but most of all…" Duo tucked his head against Heero's chest. "I have you. It's all I ever wanted as a boy—someone who cared for me, someone who…who…"

"Who loved you?"

The barest hint of a gasp escaped Duo's lips and his eyes met Heero's almost desperately. Heero smiled just slightly and shrugged. "It's your fault really. You just took my heart without asking. Though, I will admit, there is not much I wish to do about the situation now. It suits me perfectly."

Not a second later, Duo's eyes welled up and he threw his arms around Heero, burying himself into Heero's embrace. Heero felt wet, hot tears on his chest and he held Duo's head there, encouraging the man to finally cry because he knew it was for joy and relief. As Duo's shudders became less frequent and his breathing was evening out Heero knew it was time to say it.

"Duo, you are my first priority. We're going to be our own family—I'll always be here for you. No matter what. Promise."

Duo laughed against Heero's chest. "You know, you speak of deserving, of suffering but I swear I've not suffered nearly enough, nor do I begin to deserve a man like you. But I'm not an idiot—I'm yours. Entirely."

"Go back to sleep, Duo," Heero encouraged softly, tucking Duo under his arm as the man curled around his body.

"I'm scared that any day I'm going to wake up and this will all have been a dream."

"Go to sleep and let me prove you wrong."

"Gladly."

(O)(O)(O)

Duo sighed. Christmas break was coming up soon and he couldn't be more grateful. Alongside all the classes he was taking, he was working on his thesis that would get him his degree in May. Putting his pencil down and running a hand over his face he tried to find the willpower to push through the assignment but it was waning quickly and when he looked up at the clock he knew Heero would be back soon from his meeting. Duo was bargaining with himself. If he continued to work up to the point that Heero returned, it would be more time with Heero and he could be done with work for the right of the afternoon and evening.

"This will all be over before you know it," Duo reminded himself, putting everything back into perspective. With a long sigh, he put his head back down.

(O)(O)(O)

"Heero. Come in. We have to talk."

Heero could not believe how redundant Millardo could be. Of course they had to talk, that is why Heero was at the office! It had been well over a month since the party for the movie announcement and though there was a lot of talk about Heero being gay, a vast majority of the talk was purely about him being in a relationship period. So, the attention was mostly positive for the company. Where the issue rested was within the management.

"So, talk," Heero muttered as he sat down across from Millardo.

The man sighed and stared out of the window for another moment.

"Despite appearances and pretenses, I am on your side on this matter. You and I seem to have a lot more in common than I'd like to admit…as your manager I should just pay you for your next title under our name and then ask you quietly to leave, but this is more of a personal issue…"

"Millardo, you know I have no patience for this…" Heero warned.

"Right," he bit out. "This corporation is owned by my father. And though he's never put a week's worth of effort into it, he still controls it. Relena is very upset by your recent selection in partners and being that she is my father's favorite and he would do anything for her, he is prepared to cut you out of the picture due to the, _quote_, possibility of negative association you could bring to this company, _end quote_, courtesy of my sister. Right now the issue is private, but when the movie comes out and people start showing interest in the author, they are bound to find out."

"So because I'm gay I'm being let go."

Millardo growled and slammed his hand down hard on his desk. "I've fought for weeks with my father but it really is to no avail. My sister's childish charm and charisma has set in with him and he won't be swayed. I'm sorry Heero but there is not much more I can do. And your contract states you will still publish your seasonal book and your current project with us, so, again, I apologize for that bind."

Heero was quiet for a long moment. "Forgive me for asking, but why does this matter so much to you?"

"Like I said, I'm on your side in this issue."

"And what side is that?"

"Your…" Millardo's face turned slightly pink. "Look, it's just that I am very upset with my father and sister for the reason behind their actions. If they knew that their own brother and son was also…g-gay…"

Heero sat back. He hadn't seen that one coming. Millardo was looking back out of the window. "You could quit too, you know," Heero spoke softly but in a guarded tone. "Start your own company. I'd write for you and initially we could split profits equally to get a start on things."

"Hold on a second!" he almost boomed. "You want to go into business with me? I thought we were supposed to hate each other."

"All the more reason to work together—we have nothing more to lose. It's not like our friendship is on the line and plus, we've had a working relationship for years. We both hate it here—don't lie to me about that, I know you do!"

"I don't know what Duo did to you or if it's the Christmas season fucking with your head but forgive me if I'm wary about a Scrooge handing out money."

Heero stood up, fists clenched. "Look, I was going to quit anyways. I can't work with these kinds of restrictions on me and Duo needs my help more than ever and I want to be able to be there for him so these conditions just aren't going to work. I win if you break free because I can control our contract more than with this company."

This caused Millardo to frown thoughtfully. He knew several other popular authors that would follow him if he left…Wufei for one…between Heero and Wufei, the three of them would be richer than ever after a year or two. There was hardly any risk…

"Well?" Heero growled.

"I need to think on this a little but I'm leaning towards your idea. We'll be in contact."

"So you're not going to fire me formally and have me thrown out of the building?"

"Unless you need that experience to help you write something crucial in your work, I'd rather have you walk out by your own faculties."

"Millardo, for as much change as I have experienced, I would say you're not far behind," Heero warned in a low voice. "Call me when you've had time to think."

(O)(O)(O)

Heero strode in, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up by the immortalized fedora. He pushed a firm kiss against Duo's temple and set a bag down in front of him. "Lunch. I was worried you wouldn't eat something before you went to the studio tonight."

Duo blinked and then groaned. "That's right—the last recording. Thank God this is almost done."

Heero put two fingers under Duo's chin and raised his lover's face to his. "Duo? Be honest. You're overwhelmed."

"Yes…" Duo sighed. "I am."

"Put the work down for a few minutes," Heero coaxed. He helped Duo stand and directed him towards the couch.

"W-what are we doing?" Duo murmured. He was too stressed to perform and he didn't want their first time to be like this…

"You're doing nothing," Heero explained as he walked towards the bathroom and disappeared for a moment. "I, however, am brushing your hair."

The prospect alone of having his hair brushed for him sent tingles all through Duo's scalp and shoulders. Duo sat quietly, though he wanted to somehow thank Heero in an adequate way…if there was a way to do so…there probably…wasn't…oh…God…

Heero tried not to smirk as the man sitting below him almost instantly slumped into a stupor. A soft, low moan escaped Duo and Heero instantly remembered why he had to be careful when he did this. If he was ever feeling low on self-control, brushing Duo's hair was not a smart idea. To hear those sounds and imagine what they would be like in a different context. Gritting his teeth, Heero focused entirely on the task in front of him, starting from the ends and working his way up to the roots and then running the brush repeatedly through the tangle-free hair.

Duo was practically asleep when Heero finished by re-braiding his hair—respecting the man's silent request to only be seen with his braid in tact and silently helped Duo lie back on the couch before pulling a soft blanket over his love. Duo murmured something about sociology and Heero cast a glance towards the man's homework.

"Shhhh," Heero soothed, brushing some of Duo's bangs back. "I'll wake you up before you have to be to the studio and everything will be in order."

Well, so much for lunch, Heero thought. He put the bag in the refrigerator; determined Duo would eat it before he left for his band. With hardened eyes and a set jaw, Heero sat down in Duo's spot at the table and looked down at the sociology homework. It was textbook work. Read and answer the questions. It was obvious Duo had already read the chapter by all the highlighting and tagging—it was just a redundant matter of finding the answers. Well, Heero did have a doctorate in literature; he could read anything, regardless of the content. Besides, sociology was the study of the society and culture, something Heero heavily relied upon to help him with his material…how hard could it be?

(O)(O)(O)

"Come on, love, wake up," Heero murmured. "You need to eat something before you go."

"I fell asleep…" Duo sounded disappointed.

"That's good. You needed it."

"I wanted to spend time with you."

"I'll spend the night, okay?" Heero tried to compromise, just wanting Duo to smile once during the day.

"But I'll have to do my homework when I get back…"

"No, you won't. I did it for you."

"_What_?!?"

"It was obvious you had read the chapter—I just did the busywork. Now sit up so you can eat dinner."

"But…our handwriting…"

"I forged your script. I took several penmanship classes in college for the hell of it. It finally paid off. Huh." Heero sounded like he was talking to himself, amused that his whim had somehow come back to save the day. He returned in front of Duo with a plate of pasta and chicken and a glass of milk.

"You're taking care of me."

"I'm sure there will come a time when I'd appreciate you doing the same for me."

"I don't see that happening," Duo muttered under his breath.

"Well, when it's my turn to have a birthday, God help me, you can do something special for me."

"Birthday? Oh my God…Today's my birthday!"

Heero smiled as he sat down next to Duo and pulled out a wrapped present. "Happy twenty-fifth."

"Heero, you shouldn't have…"

"Well, perhaps I shouldn't have, but I learned a lot about myself reading that chapter in your text. Mostly that I am very unaware as an individual as to what societal norms are trying to dictate to me and I fear at my age, it might be a little late to try and bring me around. So, you'll just have to accept my psychological approach to life and accept the gift."

"Well said," Duo laughed, accepting the gift. He slowly tore the wrapper, scared to death when he saw the name of the most famous jeweler in the entire region written elegantly on the box. "Heero…no…"

"This isn't how it works, Duo. You open the box, exclaim how much you love it, kiss me, let me put it on you, and we walk off into the sunset. Do not ruin my perception of reality." Heero sounded borderline harsh but there was a smile on his lips.

Duo sighed as he opened the box and though he had told himself he would not gasp and "exclaim how much he loved it" he did. "Oh my God…Heero! How did you…how did you know?"

"You wore one the night of the party, I noticed it looked like it was barely hanging in there so I wanted to get you one you could wear everyday and not have to worry about."

Duo pulled up the cross necklace and examined it in the light. It was obviously made of extremely fine metal, platinum probably, each branch of the cross probably a quarter of an inch in diameter. In the center of the cross was a fairly small sapphire that was probably the most flawless gem he had ever seen in his life. And at each end of the cross was a single tiny diamond nestled in the center.

"I had it custom made for you. The gem reminded me of your eyes, so that was a slightly selfish gesture."

"How am I supposed to not worry about this?"

"Well, it's not going to break on you anytime soon, that's why I had the cross made so thick."

Duo tried to say something but he could only push out a small, disbelieving laugh. "Thank you. It is perfect and I do love it." Duo leaned closer to Heero and poured all his gratitude and love into a single, sweet kiss. "Would you care to put it on me?"

Heero felt like beaming though he kept his smile close-lipped. "As a matter of fact, I would."

Duo loved the weight of the cross against his chest as it settled over his heart. He continued to touch it and admire it as Heero stood and heated up dinner for what had to be the third time. Heero watched Duo eat carefully, not letting his guard down until he was satisfied that Duo had eaten enough.

"Good luck on your final recording," Heero murmured as he handed Duo his scarf. "I'll be here when you return."

Duo sighed contently and looked up at Heero. "Thank you for making this the best birthday ever."

"My pleasure," Heero replied with a chaste kiss to Duo's lips.

Duo left wordlessly, upholding his end of their silent agreement to never say goodbye. As he got into the privacy of his car he put his head on the steering wheel and let tears begin to fall. He would never be able to start justifying how he deserved the way Heero just _looked _at him, let alone the way Heero felt for him, treated him…the joy he had felt the night Heero promised to stay with him was being followed closely by fear. Heero made his promise and Duo knew he would keep it under any circumstance. And that was the killer. Starting in January the record was on track to be released and Duo had no idea where his life was heading. Sure, they had only agreed to one tour a year—the maximum length being three months. But then there were all these other nuances like appearances, signings, talk shows…his new manager seemed to think that when the record hit stores all those things were going to come into being. Where would that leave him and Heero? Would Heero always be waiting in his apartment for him to come home? What would kill him more, Duo wondered; knowing Heero was endlessly waiting for him, committed to the bitter end, or having Heero reach a breaking point and walk away—promises aside?

A record deal was more than he had ever dreamed for his music. Now in comparison to what he had before him, it seemed more like a curse.

There was also the issue of Heero's movie coming out soon and all the attention he was getting thusly. Though the comfort of the cool metal cross on Duo's skin was reassuring, it was hard to ignore the feeling of impending doom on the horizon.

A sob tore from Duo's throat as he slammed his hand against the wheel.

The time to make decisions was almost upon them. What would last? What could survive? The band? Heero's rising fame? Duo's degree? Their relationship?

Their love?

Duo knew, deep down, in the darkest recesses of his mind that something was going to have to give. He could feel that as much as he could feel the leather beneath his fingertips. God help him if the day ever came that he regretted asking that lonely looking man in the coffee shop what the matter was.

(O)(O)(O)

AN: So, this story is fast taking on a life of its own. I've started writing the next chapter and Duo pulled a surprise on me, yet Heero being Heero seems to be handling it pretty well, considering. We'll have to see if it's just a front. Either way, I hope you are all still enjoying. I'm starting another piece that is truer to Duo and Heero's character traits and the GW environment. I'm thinking of spinning it off this story somehow…maybe it will be a book that Heero publishes? Who knows? Criticism is much appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: When We Come to the Crossroads**

It was nearing Christmastime. Heero was sitting before the fireplace of his flat, staring at the manuscript for the title that was to be published next week, just in time as a surprise release for Christmas. He was at a loss for a title. No, it wasn't that he was at a loss. It was that he couldn't focus long enough to think of one.

Even holding the manuscript in his hands could not force him to focus long enough. Instead, he found his eyes wandering to the crackling fire and feeling his mind begin to wander again.

He was worried. About Duo. Something wasn't right. With each passing day, let alone week, Duo coiled tighter. Heero had at first assumed it was the accumulating stress of school combined with the hours the band was requiring but then the semester was over, Duo had received A's in all his classes, and the band was taking a break while all the marketing staff took over. Yet, his lover had not relaxed in the slightest. In fact, he was getting worse. Their relationship had come to a stand still. Heero had still not felt the satisfaction of Duo's body under him in any way, shape or form. Not that he wanted to now—he was far too concerned with Duo's mental well-being to push their relationship farther. But at the same time, it was disturbing. They had been committed to one another for well over three months now. Like all healthy things, the relationship should have been developing.

What had he done wrong? That was all Heero was left with. Something was the matter with him. That was the only option left to explain Duo's rising apprehension, if it could even be called that.

The door to his apartment opened but Heero couldn't look away from the fire, his mind too caught up in his spiraling theories.

"Heero. Snap out of it," Wufei sighed, sitting down heavily on the couch next to Heero. When his friend blinked, Wufei held his hand out. "Give me the manuscript. You're going to title it, _Finding the Fortunate_. Or at least, that's what I'm titling it for you. Now, with that out of the way—what's wrong?"

"It's Duo," Heero murmured, beyond trying to remain stoic and private about his problems. He needed a friend right now. Badly. "I thought at first he was stressed with all his responsibilities but now that we're in the clear for a while, he's only getting worse."

"It's the eye of the storm, Heero. It usually takes people down more than the proverbial storm itself. The waiting game kills them."

"He used to talk with such optimism that he only had one more semester to survive. That he was ready and eager for it."

"And then I'm sure his manager saddled him with all kinds of obligations other than the summer tour. Plus, the master is just a platform for his doctorate degree. He's not really, truly done. This calm is just giving him more time to think and worry."

"You're probably right but that's not the entirety of the situation. I know that much."

"I'm not discrediting you, Heero, but you've never been the best at accurately reading situations like this."

"Wufei, you have to believe me. There's something else."

"Look, you're my friend, so you're going to get some tough love. Duo's having problems. If it has anything to do with you it is probably feelings of guilt that you're doing so damn much for him and that he can't reciprocate, or he's worried he is going to fuck things up in the near future. You have done nothing wrong. Get over it. Next, you have a life too that is about to get somewhat heated. With Millardo agreeing to leave the company with us, we're bound to get a lot of negative and speculative attention from a lot of different sources. Plus, you're movie is coming out—that means TV appearances, book signings all over again, interviews…the works. You need to think about yourself right now, too, because if you mess this up, you are endangering the success of our future company."

Wufei sighed and gauged Heero's attentiveness. "Heero, look. You remember back when we were starting our Master's degrees in school, right? And you wanted to publish that first novel? Remember all we went through just to get a single company to publish a limited amount? Remember all we went through to promote it ourselves? The time to perform has come again. And you need to step up and perform. Wing Zero did not get here because of generous handouts or luck. Remember how you got here and how you're going to stay here."

Heero blinked a few times and then looked at Wufei. "Above all else, I want this company to work out for you and Millardo. You both need your freedom to do the best you can. But, for me? I am not so sure this is where I really want to be at all anymore."

"Heero. You write. That is what you do—who you are. You will figure out a way to make this movie release your thing, too. When all is said and done and the company has taken off and you can fly halfway around the world to people-watch in a Tuscan coffee shop and spend a year writing some introspective, heart-wrenching, soul-exposing, no-apologies novel, then you will realize that this is as close to heaven as you'll ever get."

Heero did try to imagine that and the thought was tempting, to be sure. But it was nothing without Duo and if something didn't change, he wouldn't have Duo for much longer it seemed.

"Heero," Wufei said in a suddenly guarded voice. "Look. Relationships, when they mean the world to you, have a way of working themselves out despite the odds, the obstacles and impossibility they are often faced with. Trust me. As your friend and as someone who has gone through it. You two were meant for one another and you will find a way to make this life yours. It's a little hectic and out of control right now but with a clear head, some renewed confidence, and a united front, you two will make it. Okay?"

"Wufei…I love him. I can't lose him…" Heero whispered, holding back a wealth of emotion, sticking in his throat and choking him.

"Then you—"

"Excuse me," Duo cut in softly, walking into the flat. "I don't mean to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could have some time alone…with Heero."

Wufei stood up, regarding the braided man slowly, trying to somehow feel out how much Duo loved Heero in return. He couldn't tell much by how restrained Duo was acting.

"Of course," Wufei conceded, walking slowly out of the flat with trepidation but closing the door securely behind him so it automatically locked.

"I had no intention of eavesdropping," Duo started out slowly. "I only heard what you just said…a-about not wanting to lose me."

Heero stood, feeling as though he were caught red-handed for something. "I just had to talk to Wufei—to hear myself think."

Duo looked pained as he approached Heero. "I think we need to sit down and talk, Heero. About the future. About us."

(O)(O)(O)

Heero felt as though someone had punched him. He knew there was air all around him, but his lungs were being squeezed so tight and were so constricted that he had no way of dragging any of that air into his body. Every muscle seemed to have gone just as tight and though it was nearly impossible to sit, he made an effort as Duo collapsed onto the couch next to him.

"Heero, I'm scared…I don't know how we're going to do this anymore. You and I are going to be swimming in career commitments; I don't know how I'm even supposed to find the time to go to enough classes to actually get the grades I need to graduate. How does a relationship survive when neither is present to keep it going? Worse yet, how can I let you sit here, waiting for me and not feel like the world's worst person? How am I going to live with myself if you leave, knowing I drove you to it?"

Heero sighed heavily, finally being able to breathe but feeling no better for it. "So you just want to find an out now, rather than a way to work this."

Duo's teary eyes shot up to Heero's. "I don't even know where we'd begin, Heero. We aren't even allowed to coordinate our own schedules, much less one between us."

"Is this not worth fighting for?"

"It's not worth totally destroying. At least that way, there is some semblance of preservation if anything were to work out in the future."

Heero looked at Duo, not quite sure he recognized the man in front of him. He thought he had known Duo pretty well in the months they had spent together but he must have been wrong on a pretty pivotal level. "Okay. If that is how you want it, that's how we'll do it."

"What?" Duo whispered.

"I'm not going to fight with you, Duo. If this is what you want to have happen, then this is what is going to happen."

"But what about you?"

"I've been alone longer than you have. I'll be just fine."

Duo sat back, blinking. This was not going the way he had imagined. It was happening so fast. He had expected Heero to have some kind of alternate solution, something that could contradict Duo's only idea of parting ways. He hadn't wanted drama, he had prayed they would stay calm, but now that they were…it was killing him. Heero was just letting him go. God! Did he want some kind of epic battle over their love? Was this just some kind of sick validation? No. He wanted what was going to be best for them in the long run. He was not going to drag them down into the dirt until they hated each other so much that if they ever faced each other on a sidewalk again, there was no telling what their reaction would be. Preserve. That was all he could hope for now.

"Heero, I feel horrible for this. I really do."

"No, you shouldn't. It's been on your mind for so long—I'm just glad you finally said something." Heero opened his mouth to say how worried he had been, but shut it quickly, knowing well enough that showing any kind of love or tenderness would only make this harder.

"Heero, believe me, I wish this could have been any other way. So much so that I wish the band had never been signed."

Heero did reach out then and took both of Duo's hands in his. "Look. You're young—we both are, relatively. There is a lot to be done before settling is a priority. Right now, you really need to push through school and establish this band. I will be here for a long, long time. When you are ready and you've accomplished all you've worked for, I'll be here. Right here."

Duo broke down, throwing himself into Heero's arms. "I am so s-s-sorry…I know I am making the biggest mistake of my life, I know I am, yet I'm making it anyways. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore."

Heero wrung his fingers through Duo's hair as he clutched the man close to him. He knew that this was the last time he was going to be seeing Duo in a long time. Wufei's words were sinking in as fast as Duo's tears were into his shirt. What only seemed like a few precious seconds later, Duo was pulling back, sniffing and wiping his eyes at a furious pace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he stood and backed up to the door. "Please, forgive me."

"You have done nothing wrong but if it makes you feel better, of course I forgive you," Heero murmured, breathing slow and even to hold back his emotions. Hold back his instincts. He wanted to scream, cry, or even physically force Duo to stay with him. But none of that would help Duo and it was obvious to Heero that this conversation had been on the man's mind for quite a while, so it wasn't an irrational thought or desire of his…his…ex-boyfriend's.

Heero watched Duo flee and stood, staring at the door for minutes…maybe hours, just standing. He felt numb like he was in shock. Everything looked distant. Everything sounded distant. Everything felt distant. His mind entirely disconnected. He was vaguely aware of his phone ringing on several occasions. He remembered hearing the rain start outside. He remembered when it went eerily silent as the rain turned to snow. He remembered when the fire died and shut him into darkness.

The rest, Heero couldn't remember.

(O)(O)(O)

AN: shorter chapter, I know, but the next chapter is going to start a few months after this occurrence so I figured a shorter chapter would be better than an extra-long chapter that spanned a time lapse. I find, as a reader, that it's easier to conceptualize time by chapters rather than gaps within chapters. Ha ha, the last part of this chapter reminds me of Pride and Prejudice (the most recent adaptation) where Elizabeth is looking into the mirror at her cousin's house and day turns to night…anyone else get that feeling? Lol. Thanks everyone for reviewing. Look forward to the next chapter soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Time Turns and Returns**

"Heero! Wake up! I have the warm water running because you're going to shave. I have your suit lying on the couch. Get up! HEERO!"

Heero groaned and saw the bleary version of Millardo. He must have died and gone to hell.

"Heero! We have a plane to catch in two hours! Get up or so help me God, I will kill you because if you miss the movie premiere, you are better off dead to me anyways."

Heero sat up and sighed. For the last three…four months he had tried to keep things together. He looked good at appearances, signings, interviews…but everything in his life had already gone to hell. He was under contract to stay with Millardo's father's company until he released his final novel. He had a hard time sitting still, had a hard time thinking…but it didn't matter. He didn't have any inspiration, any will to write anyways. He could, however, go through the motions.

"Give me thirty and I'll be ready to go," Heero agreed, though the room spun when he sat up.

"There we go," Millardo muttered under his breath, crossing his arms, refusing to leave the bedroom until Heero made good on his promise.

The next time Heero really came to consciousness, he was already on the plane. Life was like this anymore. Brief moments of consciousness. He would probably not have come to until all the cameras starting flashing at the red carpet unless he hadn't lifted up an entertainment magazine.

WING ZERO AND ANUBIS BOTH UP FOR MAN OF THE YEAR

_Famous, beloved author Wing Zero is being immortalized for his much-anticipated, award-rumored film. Anubis, true to his name, is a god rising from obscurity. Though the year is young, both men have immediate futures that are brighter than most stars ever live to see. Our editors predict the man of the year award will go to either of these men. In this edition we'll take a look into where they came from, where they are, where they are going, and if their history is already intertwined. _

Heero sat up and flipped to that page in that magazine. Sharing an entire page was a picture of Heero dressed his best, at the movie announcement party, in mid sentence, eyes alight and hand extended to illustrate what he was saying. Barely recognizing himself; Heero admitted in a small voice that the picture did make him look a bit…model-esque. In the same picture, standing right by the front of the stage was Duo, smiling with love and joy and adoration in his eyes.

But that wasn't the picture for Duo. The picture for Duo, a.k.a Anubis, was just as large as Heero's, but it was mostly his shadow outlined by a bright red light. His long hair was fanning around him, a fedora hat hiding his entire face, except a bitter, bitter smile.

_Both are angsty, young, successful, devastatingly handsome, and available. But they weren't always the last. Rumor has it, ladies, that they once had each other in common. That's right. Rumor has it that these men were once a couple. Though, no, there is no solid proof, and neither man ever speaks of having been in a relationship of -any- kind, much less with each other, we have been told by a few sources that there was a time when Wing Zero and Anubis were a super-couple. Though on one hand we would love to see these two men together, most of us would like to dream that we have a chance with either of them. Both come from fairly similar and at the same time, starkly different backgrounds, Anubis raised an orphan, Zero raised by nannies, maids and butlers…_

Heero nudged Millardo and silently handed the article over to his manager. Millardo read quietly for a moment before he made a choking sound and then broke out into full-blown coughing as he stared in disbelief at the article. He eyed Heero warily to gauge the man's reaction as he got a hold of himself. Heero just shrugged.

"Nice to know it would have been well-received," Heero sighed.

"Heero…"

"Millardo, I'm fine," Heero muttered, running a hand over his face.

Millardo turned to look back out of the window of the plane. Heero? Fine? Yeah…right…

"Let's just hope this doesn't become the theme of our trip," Heero spoke in a neutral voice.

"Well, it's just one magazine article. I'm sure it won't overshadow the reason for your presence."

(O)(O)(O)

"Wing Zero! Wing Zero! Is it true you and Anubis were once a couple?"

"Zero! How long were you and Anubis lovers?"

"Is it true that infidelity broke you two apart?"

"Are the rumors true, Zero?"

Heero sighed as light bulbs flashed and snapped as reporters shouted questions. Only a rare few were about the movie. Several cameramen and reporters were for local and national entertainment TV stations. Heero couldn't hold back a second sigh that rushed from his body.

Finally, Heero raised a hand for silence. "Wing Zero and Anubis do not exist. They are characters that we speak through in one form or another. So, any relationship would have to be just as fictional if it were to be between those two. But to answer the question, Wing Zero was mourning over a lost love before Anubis was even created—so the timeline is impossibly off."

"Zero! What about the men behind the characters? Did they have a relationship?"

"The men? Strange you should be interested in them—they are just as ordinary as any other individuals on the street and you would probably have a more interesting story from anyone other than the men behind the façades. Let me make one thing entirely clear—the man who created Wing Zero is nothing like his creation and the man who made Anubis is not even a shade similar. So anything that relates to Zero or Anubis could never apply to the men behind the scenes."

"So do _you_ know the man behind Anubis?" a woman called out.

"You know, it's awfully presumptuous of all of you to assume that I am the man behind Wing Zero. I could just be the model—the actor. I come to you as Wing Zero, which you all clearly know is a creation, what evidence is there that I am actually the author as well? Maybe no one has ever seen the man behind Wing Zero. But to answer your question, I do know the man behind Anubis. He is brilliant, determined, compassionate, and has the biggest heart I have ever known a person to possess. It is an honor to know the artist."

"Wait, are you saying that you're just an actor standing in as Wing Zero?"

"All I'm going to say is that I'm standing here claiming to be Wing Zero. I could be just as much the author, the father of the creation, as I could be a fictional character representing the fictitious penname. His work is not about knowing the author, his motives, his secrets. Everything you need to take away from him is clearly, plainly written in black and white in his books. There is nothing more. Truly. The man has never found inspiration within himself to write. If you want to see his motives, his inspiration all you have to do is sit down in a park, in a coffee shop, in a theatre and look around you—at anybody but yourself—and you will see what he sees. Forget about your own sorry life for a moment and focus on someone else's and then someone different and then the couple sitting two chairs away from the person you were just observing and it will all become clear that the author is just a medium, a lens. He is nothing more."

The reporters went quiet for a moment though a few cameras continued to snap occasionally.

"I hope you all enjoy this weekend and the festivities revolving around the premiere. Thank you," Heero concluded, motioning for Millardo to get him out of the huddle of reporters.

(O)(O)(O)

Duo sat in his apartment watching the news with little to no interest. He just needed to hear voices. Needed his home to sound occupied by someone other than his lonely soul.

"_So do you know the man behind Anubis?"_

Duo perked up, hearing his stage-name. There, on his TV screen, was the man he was missing the most. Heero Yuy.

"_You know, it's awfully presumptuous of all of you to assume that I am the man behind Wing Zero. I could just be the model—the actor. I come to you as Wing Zero, which you all clearly know is a creation, what evidence is there that I am actually the author as well? Maybe no one has ever seen the man behind Wing Zero. But to answer your question, I do know the man behind Anubis. He is brilliant, determined, compassionate, and has the biggest heart I have ever known a person to possess. It is an honor to know the artist."_

Duo felt as though someone had reached into the cavity of his chest, squeezed their fingers about his racing heart, and had yanked—hard. His long, pale fingers flew to his chest as pain enveloped him entirely. Why did Heero still have to speak so gallantly of him? Not only had Heero gone through painful measures to keep both of their identities secret just for the sake of Duo, but he had continually praised the artist behind Anubis. Heero looked good, Duo noticed with some relief. Thinner, maybe, but still as devastatingly gorgeous as usual.

Not a second later, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Duo, it's Treize."

Treize was their guitarist when Duo didn't play and also played drums on several songs. He had once been an equal visionary with Duo on the band's inspiration and direction. Anymore though, the band belonged solely to Treize due to his obscure relationship with their manager.

"Did you just see that on TV?" Treize demanded.

"With Wing Zero?"

"Yes. Duo, he's starting to get bold. Sooner than later he's going to cross a pivotal line. It is bad enough you let that last article in the entertainment magazine print without a fight—assuming Wing Zero and Anubis were a couple! Jesus, Duo! If you let this continue it will be the end of us—just like that relationship was going to be the end of us. I am tired of him haunting this band!"

"This band? Treize, he's haunting _you_. Trowa and Quatre were fine with me being in a relationship with him."

"God damn it, Duo! You, too? Do you even care about this band anymore? Trowa and Quatre have no foresight whatsoever. They just want to play their instruments and fuck each other. You and I—we had dreams for this band! And now that they're being realized, you're going to screw this up?"

"And are you so far gone that you don't realize that our band is made up of people—individuals? Who have their own lives to think about? I sacrificed just about everything I had to make this band work and I'm regretting every moment of it. I will not ask anyone to do what I had to! So you're going to have to live with the fact that I am human and I am struggling."

"You need to get a hold of this Wing Zero character and call him, or his actor, whoever, off. This cannot continue or we're going to have to make some drastic changes to our lineup."

"You're threatening me?" Duo laughed. "No matter what happens, Treize, I'm on board until September. That's a contract even you can't nullify. And when we are done touring you might have to find yourself another dog to obey your orders, with or without your current threats."

The other side of the line was quiet for a long moment before Treize sighed. "Okay, perhaps I am overreacting a little. You have to understand why I am nervous, though."

"Yes, I can see why you would be nervous," Duo tried to appease his band-mate.

"Okay, I guess I'll just see you at rehearsal tomorrow."

"Yes, you will," Duo assured. He hung up the phone and let it fall, forgotten on the couch as his eyes returned to the TV. Heero was walking down the red carpet, looking like the model he hinted he was being. Flawless. Even next to all the gorgeous actors and actresses that portrayed his characters, Heero stood above them all with his grace and beauty. His eyes burned with intelligence and the effort to guard his secrets. There was a ruthless cut to his mouth that swirled him further into mystery. Duo noticed down on the right hand corner of the screen it said that this film was live.

No. He couldn't. Not after all this time silence. Not when the entire nation was watching. Not when Treize had just said that he needed to separate Anubis farther from Wing Zero.

Fear filled Duo's mouth as he pulled out his cell phone and quivering hands with a mind of their own found Heero's number on his speed dial. He put the phone up to his ear, praying that Heero would just let it ring until all Duo was faced with was a voicemail. God! What was he doing?

On screen, Heero frowned slightly and reached into his pocket to pull out his cell phone. Looking at the caller ID, he swallowed visibly and then answered.

"Hello?" Heero's deep, soothing voice answered. He sounded anxious, expecting. Duo watched in horrific amazement as the man on TV mouthed the words, "hello."

"I'm watching you on TV…you look so gorgeous," Duo murmured, his throat clogged with emotion.

"I saw you in the magazine—it was a stunning picture as well. I tried my best to confuse or divert the reporters today."

"I know, I thought you did it with such genius and finesse. Heero, there is so much I want to say to you…" Duo had to cut himself short as tears ran down his face. "I don't know if I can do this much longer."

"Which station are you watching, love?" Heero murmured in a calm voice.

"The national station, channel twenty-three at home."

Heero's eyes swept the cameras until he mad eye contact with Duo through the TV. Duo shot back in his chair, trying to hold back a loud sob. "H-Heero…please…don't. I shouldn't have called."

Heero smiled soothingly and then spoke into the phone, still looking at the camera. "I'm on the first flight home tonight. Go to sleep, and I'll wake you up when I get in. We'll sort this all out. Just keep breathing."

"Heero!" Duo did finally sob.

"Shhhh, we're going to make this right, baby. Shhhh. I'm going to be right there with you tonight, okay? Hang in there for me."

"O-okay," Duo managed.

"Any autographs I can get for you?" Heero tried in a lighter note, looking away from the camera to look through the throngs of celebrities and actors.

Duo tried to laugh but it came out as another sob. "N-no, I'm fine."

"Okay, Duo, just wait a few more hours. I'll be there. I promise."

Duo hung up his cell phone and broke out into full-blown sobbing. He curled up into a little ball on the couch and cried like he had never cried before. His ribs ached with the force of his sobbing. Why did Heero still love him? All he had ever done was hurt the man. Time and again. He should have never called but something in him in him needed it more than air. Heero had been a rock and Duo had crashed around and into him like a hurricane. If there was a hell, Duo was going to it just because of this.

Heero should be enjoying his success. He should be mingling happily with those actors, meeting people who would treat him better, be open with him. He should be going to after-parties and living life up. He had worked so hard to get to this point and now he couldn't just savor it—he had to contend with Duo.

Duo cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Hoping against hope that Heero would just leave him to his demise. But hoping even more that when he woke up, Heero would be sitting next to him, smiling him and promising that everything was going to be just fine.

(O)(O)(O)

Relena paced her own private office as her best friend, Dorothy watched.

"Now, father demands that at all costs that we keep Heero on board! He's making good press and the Christmas special he threw together is making bank."

"I thought you had your dad all wrapped up on this one," Dorothy Catalonia replied, truly shocked that Relena's power of persuasion had failed.

"I don't know. I'm just pissed. I used to think Heero was just one of those geniuses that was so lost to reality that he truly didn't mean to be the way he was but and I quote, _he knows what he's doing_. God this is a clusterfuck. Now that dad wants him to stay, he's going to leave, I heard Millardo talking about it…I'm on a short fuse with dad lately and if I'm not successful there's no telling what the old man will do…_and_ we have absolutely no bait whatsoever to keep Heero on board, regardless of the fact that I want that man to suffer."

Dorothy frowned. "Bait? As in incentive?"

"Exactly."

"I think I may be able to help there. You know, I manage Duo's band and one of his mates is particularly distressed over the change in events due to Heero's presence. Not to mention, he and I are getting rather close. I think we could work out something through that medium."

"Use Duo to get to Heero," Relena murmured, her eyes lighting up. "Yes, that seems like just the thing to do. It'd be too perfect."

(O)(O)(O)

"Wing Zero! What an incredible movie! The strongest audience applause in the last decade perhaps and it is predicted to be the largest box office in the last ten years as well! How are you feeling right now?"

"I am just pleased that I was able to touch so many lives in such a positive way. As with any film, it is meant to entertain and send a message. And if I can do both, then I feel like my work here is done. I can go home and begin again."

"Sounds wonderful. What are your plans for celebration tonight?"

"Actually, I'm on the first plane out of here. I have some urgent business at home that I am very eager to get to."

"I hope all is well with you and yours," the reporter said genuinely.

"I thank you," Heero replied with a heart-stopping smile. "It will be; I'm going to see that it is. Good evening."

Heero turned away from the reporter and grabbed Millardo by his jacket, leading him away. "I booked a flight that takes off in forty minutes. I need to be on that plane."

"What's wrong?" Millardo demanded in a low voice.

"Something's wrong with Duo. He called me during the premiere."

"Is he hurt?"

"No, not yet. I'm worried that he's at his breaking point. I'm too scared to leave him alone right now."

"I understand," Millardo muttered, pulling his cell phone out. He spoke in a low voice for a minute before snapping the phone shut. "Okay, go to that white Lexus over there and get in—you should be at the airport in less than ten minutes. Please, call me when you're back in town so I at least know where you are. I am your manager after all."

"I will, the moment I land."

Heero got into the car and the driver took off without a word. Heero pulled out his phone and made sure Duo hadn't called him since. No missed calls. In a way that worried him. He wanted to believe Duo had gone to sleep to pass the time but he was also worried what would happen if Duo didn't—couldn't. No! He was not going to think that way. Duo was fine. Duo was fine. Duo was fine.

This was Heero's mantra all the way home.

(O)(O)(O)

AN: If there are any grammatical errors, I apologize. I've read this until my eyes cross and I'm to the point of having it memorized, not edited. So, the plot thickens! Thank you to everyone reviewing and adding this story to your alerts. Currently, I'm working on a second piece that is totally out of character for me. This second one might be a little later in coming since it seems that I cannot even stick to my own plot outline…admittedly, the fic is way out of my realm of comfort but I really want to write it since I'd love to read it (if someone else wrote it, but they're not…sad day). Darker fic. Not really a happy piece. Bittersweet. So, everyone keep hanging in there on this one and cross your fingers that I don't turn out to be my own worst enemy on this second one! Lol!


	6. Chapter 6

_Warning: this chapter is most definitely rated M for detailed, graphic m/m action. If you are underage, prone to flagging/flaming, or do not feel comfortable reading such material, skip forward to the next chapter or enjoy some of the other awesome fics on this site that are not M-rated. _

**Chapter Six: Matters of closure, capitulation and climax**

Heero ran up to the apartment, and used the spare key he still had in his possession to open the front door. He barely remembered to lock it behind him as he rushed into the apartment and straight for the bedroom. When he opened the door he saw the bed perfectly made, no one in the room.

His heart stopped. Oh God. He was too late…but Duo's car was parked out front…maybe he walked somewhere…

Heero turned, determined to search the whole city until he found Duo. As he rushed back out of the apartment his eyes swept the living room and he almost fell forward to stop himself. Oh…thank…thank God. There was Duo, on the couch.

Heero had to stop his hands from shaking as he reached out to Duo's neck and checked a pulse. Nice and strong and slow. Praise be. Heero sank down onto the couch, telling himself to pace his breathing. He felt ready to hyperventilate. Duo's left hand was clutching the cross around his neck, his pale face stained with tears. Relief swarmed Heero's head until he felt weak with it.

"Duo, wake up, baby. I'm here. I'm home," Heero whispered, pressing kisses against Duo's hair and face, uncharacteristic words of endearment spilling forth too naturally.

Duo blinked a few times as he came into consciousness. "H-Heero?"

"I'm right here," Heero assured.

The force of Duo's embrace sent them both to the floor. Heero managed to twist in the last second to take the impact instead of Duo, the smaller man landing on top of him. He held Duo with too much desperation against his body as Duo began to breathe frantically.

"Duo, calm down, baby. You're going to be fine. I'm here. I'm not going away. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Duo's fingers were leaving bruises on Heero's back and shoulders as he fought to regain control of himself. Heero just stayed there, on the floor, looking up at the ceiling and savoring the smell and feel of Duo near him at long last. No amount of waiting would ever dampen the sweetness of this moment.

"Heero, I'm so sorry. You should still be in L.A. I should have never called. I should have never turned the TV on…God what am I saying? I should have never broken up with you in the first place!"

"I'm so glad you decided to call me. You know you always can."

Heero was not sure how long they stayed on the floor, whispering to each other, catching up, talking about mistakes, regrets and then moving onto happier times…the time they had had together. Duo began to fade around dawn and Heero helped him up and carried him into the bedroom. Not able to sleep himself, he arranged so that Duo was curled up against his side but so that both of his arms were free to type. He opened his laptop and went to the document that contained the last piece of work he needed for his contract and began to click away at the keys at lightning speed.

The novel was about life. About living life for the first time in nearly three decades. It was about waking up one morning lost in a world that belonged to others and going to bed that night in a world that belonged to you. It was about the joy of living, the pain of living, and all the learning one must go through when they've waited all their lives to start. It was an autobiography of the man who made Wing Zero. It was Wing Zero himself telling the story of his father, of watching his maker transform, of feeling that transformation.

As noon rolled around and Duo began to rally, Heero wrote the last lines of the book.

_My father woke that morning—my father. But that night, when he put his head down, he was no longer the man that made me. No longer the man that gave reason to my existence. He was his own creation, starting that night. He needed no buffer from the world anymore. He had a reason, a real reason, to face the pain, the joy, the success and the disappointment life brings to all who choose to engage. So, in the end, it was not that he lacked something intrinsic— something that made up his being; all he lacked was the intrinsic desire to __be__. _

"Heero?" Duo murmured.

Heero came to, realizing he felt moisture around his eyes. As fast as he could, he reached up to brush the tears away before they fell.

"What's wrong?" Duo asked, instantly alert.

"Nothing, actually. For once in so long, things are right. I finished my book. I finished our book."

"You did?" Duo exclaimed. "Now you're free of that company! Oh, I'm so glad…" Duo died off reading the last paragraph. "Oh…Heero…"

"It's time to let Wing Zero go. I've come up with a new name."

Duo was quiet for a long time as Heero just absently played with his hair. "Zero-One. Zero for my life prior to this moment and my life from this point forward—One…you…the one. Between Zero and One, my life is complete."

Heero closed the laptop slowly, sighing. "It feels good to let him go. It feels good to not need him anymore."

Duo curled up into Heero's arms as the men fell into silence, just holding one another, lost in their respective but mutual thoughts.

"I'm going to quit in September."

Heero looked down at Duo. "Why is that?"

"Treize, mostly. One of our instrumentalists. It was our shared dream to make this band but we've gone in different directions. I feel like I'm his puppet."

"I'm sorry to hear that but I know you will make the right decision for the right reasons. You are too talented to be a puppet; I will agree that is a good reason to want to leave."

"That's still months off, though."

"Yes," Heero whispered, pressing a kiss against Duo's hair. "I'll be thirty then. You shall find me an old man."

"I don't know if I can leave you again for nearly five more months."

"Well, I propose we take this day-by-day. If we both have spare time, we will thoroughly enjoy it until the next opportunity. And if that doesn't work, we'll search for another solution—okay?"

"Okay," Duo eagerly agreed. He tilted his chin up and Heero was right there, ready to catch his love's lips.

What started out as a slow, tender kiss quickly changed when the tiniest of moans escaped Duo's lips. Heero's fingers tightened in Duo's hair, his grip becoming commanding. He knew he should continue to be a gentleman. He knew he should have kept the kiss in control…but…everything he had ever known up to that point was escaping him. All he knew was he had Duo back and he never wanted to take a minute for granted. Heero had delayed this moment for so long because he didn't want any one strong emotion to overshadow the act itself but, it was time to face the music, and admit—Heero was most definitely not a saint. If anything he was feeling all too human; weak, self-gratifying, desperate, and wanting. Wanting more than he had ever wanted in his entire life.

Mindlessly, he set his laptop aside and rolled to pin Duo under him. A husky moan of encouragement assaulted his ears and Heero could not stop his grip from tightening on his lover's wrists as he latched his mouth onto Duo's neck. A soft cry of surprise and elation erupted from Duo as Heero's teeth bit down on a tendon and then applied the silky heat of his tongue.

It was now, in this moment, that Heero was so happy he had written that one random romance novel in his life. Lonely and attention starved, the novel had given him an open invitation into exploring the more sensual ways of romance and relationships. It was time to put theory into practice.

Duo was reeling. Heero was all kinds of things—quiet, independent, loyal, determined, and intelligent. But never had Duo expected that something more passionate and fiery lay beneath the surface. It was as if he was seeing Heero in an entirely new light, in a new way. It was singularly the biggest turn-on of his life. He gripped the hem of Heero shirt blindly, desperate beyond coherence, needing to feel skin-on-skin contact. Heero refused to remove his mouth from Duo's reddening neck until the very last second when his own shirt was ripped over his head. Again, Duo gasped, this time at the sight of Heero half naked. His lover was a geek at heart, an endearing nerd at best, but his body did not belong to a man that holed himself up a dark office with a dim desk lamp. He was toned; muscular, defined…he was gorgeous. And Heero was his.

Impatient and unsatisfied with only receiving attention while such a godlike body hovered above him, Duo took his turn to roll Heero over and have his way. More experienced than Heero, he went straight to working on the juncture between Heero's jaw and neck, while his hands busied themselves with finding each rib on his man's torso.

A dark, deep groan erupted from Heero as Duo fastened his mouth and his fingers took a preliminary brush down his side.

"God, you have no idea how happy I am that you're a reclusive nerd by nature," Duo hissed as he moved his lips lower. Heero should be banned. Made illegal. No person should have access to this man. He was a lethal weapon.

"Maybe now you can start to truly appreciate my p-patience," Heero stuttered to a halt as Duo's hot and moist lips closed over one of his nipples. Instinctually, Heero strung his fingers through his torturer's hair to hold him where he wanted him. The logical effort to stay put versus the animalistic need to arch his back into the ministrations conflicted to the point where a low growl slipped from Heero's throat. "It's not always easy sharing a love interest with several million others."

"Mmm, baby," Duo rasped, slowly making his way down the deep line of clenched abdominal muscles, determined not to laugh while he said, "You're the only one I'd bend over for."

In a cold, steely voice Heero responded, his hands trapping Duo's hips in an unbreakable grip, "That's it." Resolutely, he flipped Duo onto his back, all the while, tugging Duo's shirt over his head and ridding him of clothing. "You better be ready to own up to your words."

Duo just threw his head back and laughed until the air was entirely stolen from his lungs as Heero went down on him and his laughter spiked and ended abruptly in a sharp cry. Though his eyes were open to some extent, the braided man felt blind as his lover worked his eager tongue over the vein that ran on the underside of his manhood. That was only the prelude to the hot, wet sensation that accompanied the feeling of total engulfment. Duo swore loudly, his hips writhing, bucking. If Heero could have smiled, he would have. Not a second into Duo's thrashing did Heero put an arm over Duo's hips and stop all motion. The next sound that tore from his lover's throat sounded like the most tortured, agonized scream of pleasure he had ever heard. So…this was what really got to Duo. Control.

And Heero planned on exercising it fully.

(O)(O)(O)

Duo was beyond any apprehension, nervousness, anxiety…all he wanted was _him_. Moving. Fast and hard. "Heero, _please_," he whispered into the pillows as his fingers gripped at the sheets for some semblance of his own control.

Heero wiped his forearm over his brow to clear some of the sweat. The room was boiling and their exertions were only about to increase. Foreplay had been amazing but it did leave something big to be desired. Duo still wasn't his. He sat up on his knees, a small bottle of lube in hand. Meaning only to coat his length, he couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over Duo's outstretched body, waiting, shivering, tensed for his invasion. With slow satisfaction, Heero prepared himself and then sighed almost wanting to prolong the moment a little longer, just to make sure the image of Duo in absolute pain and pleasure over him was forever engrained upon his memory. Showing some mercy, however, Heero lowered his body back down on Duo's and brushed his lips across the exposed base of his lover's neck. "I love you," he whispered in a thick voice.

"I love you, too," Duo managed, meaning it but undeniably distracted.

Heero positioned himself slowly, moving at a pace that should Duo cry out for him to stop; he could without doing any further harm. Having never had sex with a man, Heero had no idea what to expect. He pushed in slowly, worried that there was so much resistance despite the smoothness the lubrication lent. The heat was what got to him. The feeling of being entirely encased in gripping heat. The feeling was immediately addicting and though he told himself he had to go slow, it was irrefutable that his hips were pushing forward with a more determined pace.

Duo tried not to tense as he felt Heero's length stretching him. It felt good. Almost too good. He wanted to last for some amount of time…Duo flinched as felt met some resistance. Heero stilled and they both took a quiet moment to relax and then continue. Duo knew his block was mental and Heero seemed to sense that, too, for when Heero lowered his body entirely onto Duo's and put his lips to Duo's ear, he whispered the two words that opened Duo up entirely for Heero's plundering: "Take it."

Duo cried out, not even from the amazing sensation of being filled to the brim, but from the sheer physical reaction those words evoked. Heero exerting control, taking it, enforcing it, was enough to make Duo finish on the spot.

"That's it," Heero murmured in a softer voice this time. "Are you all right?"

"God, no…move! Damn it, Heero, _move_!"

Letting instincts take over and determined to give and take as much pleasure as possible, Heero did as he was bid. He pulled out shallowly and rocked back in. Pleased with the encouraging moan that Duo uttered, he pulled out more and pushed back again. Another rewarding moan. This time, he pulled out almost all the way and slammed home. Duo screamed.

"God! Yes!"

Between the sounds of harsh gasping, Heero managed to maneuver Duo to his knees. Duo rose up to put both hands on top of the iron-rod headboard, his back arched low to give Heero the most access. With a hand on either hipbone, Heero thrust hard again, eliciting another hoarse shout from Duo. From there, the tempo only picked up. The sound of skin slapping skin and the frequent cry of response from Heero hitting Duo's prostate filled the air. The occasional groan, the hissed swear word, and the dirty, lewd comments of encouragement all joined in to form a symphony.

Heero could feel the end nearing. Wanting to witness Duo first, he released a hip in favor of his lover's manhood and began to stroke in time with his thrusts.

"_Fuck!!!_" Duo screamed as his release came on violently.

Heero would have shared the same sentiments had the wind not been knocked right out of him. No amount of pleasure could amount to the moment that Duo's body clamped down on him, taking him deeper, closing around him harder than ever before during his climax. The sensation was too mind-blowing, too raw to ride through and Heero threw his head back and joined his lover in bliss.

The feeling of Heero's release inside him was euphoric, Duo noted as they both slumped back down onto the bed. Heero was attempting to breathe with his mouth closed while Duo still panted softly beside him as he rolled off but kept his love in his arms all the while.

"I love you," Heero murmured again.

Duo turned in Heero's embrace, offered up a simple but sweet kiss, and then nuzzled into Heero's chest. "I love you, too," he replied, undistracted this time.

"You have to let me try and make this work, Duo."

"I should have the first time."

Heero shrugged. "We both know now what we can and can't live without—that's good to have figured out. It truly would have been a shame for me to try so hard only to discover later that we were fine without each other."

Any feelings of guilt or embarrassment over the way Duo had chosen to handle the situation just dripped away with that statement. So, in a way, Duo had helped. Unwilling to drift towards darker thoughts, Duo lavished in the moment, in the soreness that was creeping into his boneless body. He felt beyond euphoria. By the sounds of Heero breathing, it was clear the man was slipping into the world of sleep. The braided man stayed quiet for about an hour just relaxing and reveling in the miracle before he silently slipped out of bed and made his way to the shower.

Duo was beyond happy that Heero was able to finish his book and move onto a newer, freer and much deserved life. He was also so pleased to see Heero sound asleep and content. Heero rarely looked at ease, he noted. This halted Duo and he stopped in the middle of the bedroom to just watch Heero for a moment. He looked almost 19 or 20 when sleeping. His brows were relaxed and his mouth was not tight or turned down. Why was Heero always so tense when he was awake? Duo had never thought much about it. Heero had not had the easiest childhood and he knew there was a lot of pressure to get away from the company he had helped make a name for but…even in moments when all that was supposed to be so far away, he looked intense. Entranced, Duo silently walked back to the bed and knelt down to brush some strands of hair off of Heero's face.

Who took care of Heero while he was taking care of everyone else?

The question rocked Duo to the core. "Oh baby," he whispered in a rush of air that escaped his lungs.

Heero stirred and almost sat up entirely. "Duo? Are you okay?"

Duo smiled but he could feel the need to cry building as Heero's awakening only solidified his thoughts. "Yes, I'm fine. Sweetie, go back to sleep. You need to rest."

"You're not hungry or anything?" Heero retaliated.

"No," was Duo's firm reply. He pushed Heero back onto the mattress and then settled himself behind Heero, wrapping his arms around Heero's waist. "I want you to fall back asleep so I don't have to worry about your health."

Heero was quiet for a long moment, a little too tired to fully comprehend what was transpiring. "I don't want you to worry about me," he whispered as he fell asleep.

"I think someone has to, lover," Duo murmured in a low melodious voice. "And I want that person to be me before anyone else." He let the room fall back into silence but he could tell Heero was not drifting off. Did the man always have trouble sleeping? Duo could hardly recall. Inspired instantly, Duo pressed a small kiss to the nape of Heero's neck and began to sing softly.

He just let the words spill out, the melody happen. It was a lullaby to be sure but his husky voice whispered of eternal and unconditional love. Love that spanned time and space. It seemed like into his impromptu third verse, Heero was back in his dream world but Duo continued to sing, letting the music heal him and help Heero stay under.

As the last word of the song died out into the dim and silence of the room, Duo had to hold back a soft laugh. His stomach was about to bust out in a solo if he didn't get up right away and eat something. Moving as stealthily as possible, Duo left the bedroom to get lunch or dinner prepared…whichever one was coming up. One his way to the kitchen, he noticed his phone was flashing, indicating a voicemail.

"_Duo—it's Treize. Look. I know you called Heero and I know he came back because of you. I trusted you to handle this in the _right_ way. God only knows he's probably still there with you now! You know what? Never mind. We'll discuss this tomorrow at rehearsal. I assume you can still make that commitment at least."_

"What the hell is going on?" Duo hissed under his breath. He knew what Treize had told him but something wasn't adding up. Treize was not the kind of man to worry that much, that obsessively. So what was it?

(O)(O)(O)

The four of them sat in the studio, looking over some sheets of music to clear up an issue they were having with a bridge in one of their songs. But it was clear progress was an unreachable goal today. The silence was screaming.

"That's it," Quatre sighed softly. "What is our problem today?"

"Duo's boyfriend is back in town," Treize muttered, still looking at the sheet music.

"So?" Trowa murmured, his eyes narrowing.

"God you two are so dense! With Duo's priorities split up between the band and his oh-so-perfect boyfriend, the band cannot succeed the way it needs to. And quite frankly, his priorities aren't even split—they're ranked: Heero, then the band."

"And what more does this band need to succeed, Treize?" Duo snapped back. "We're signed. We have a record a few weeks away from releasing, we're going on tour—what else do we have to do to become _successful_?"

Treize's clenched his fists. "It needs you to stay in it! We need to know you're in this for the long-haul, that you want this to work as much as we do!"

"The only reason I would quit, Treize, is because of you! You want the truth? You're scaring the hell out of me and I really don't feel that anything, not even the band, is worth enduring whoever it is that you have become!"

"He's telling you that, isn't he?"

"Heero doesn't know you from Adam. I've never mentioned you—not once."

Something dark glimmered in Treize's eyes, but he sat back and went silent. "Well, it's becoming clear to me that I'm hindering our progress so I'll be the one to suggest we take the day off and try this again at a later date."

Trowa stood Quatre up and the two men hesitated for a moment. "Duo?" Quatre murmured.

"Yeah," Duo sighed, standing up with the other two and they began to walk out together. "Treize, you really shouldn't hate Heero like you do—if it weren't for him, I would have never wrote that song and we wouldn't be signed. Think over that for a while. You're right, he does play a big role in my life, but he's only ever been a source of happiness and inspiration. The fact that you feel threatened by that makes me wonder what's really going on inside your head."

Treize watched Duo go and waited until the door to the studio closed before he stood, threw a chair against a padded wall and stalked out after them. What's going on inside his head? Treize smirked. What was going on inside his head? The answer was so much more than Duo could ever hope to comprehend.

(O)(O)(O)

So, I'm moving to another country in…three weeks. Still in the process of editing the last four chapters but I will have them all published on this site by the end of September. In the meantime, comments/criticism/critiques and [witty] commentary are much appreciated and help me vastly improve the rough draft while editing!!!


	7. Chapter 7

_Warning: graphic scenes of both consensual and __nonconsensual__ acts. If either bother you, skip ahead or read something else. No flames please._

**Chapter Seven: Crossing Wires**

Heero and Duo sat on the couch of Heero's condo and watched TV as they ate their sushi. Some nondescript entertainment show was giving the rundown on Heero's recent movie and how it did in the box-offices. It was predicted that no movie would be able to top the sales in five years.

"It's amazing they aren't hounding you for more publicity," Duo murmured.

"They are. Millardo is fighting them off sufficiently. If they got what they wanted, the allure would die out anyways. At the end of the day I'm just a novelist and soon the attention will turn to what the actors are doing in their everyday lives."

"Weathering the storm," Duo chuckled, putting his plate down. "That's my man."

Heero mirrored Duo in putting his plate down. "You haven't been to rehearsal in a while."

"One of our band-mates needs some time to cool down."

"Did something happen?" Heero pressed, linking Duo's hands in his.

Duo shrugged. "He's just worried something will. He's thinking I'm going to ditch and really, it's because of him that I would."

"I remember you saying something about that," Heero replied. "Have you spoken to him?"

"Yes, but I'm beginning to wonder if I was off the mark on why he's upset."

Heero frowned. "You're worried."

Duo sighed and sank back down onto the large couch, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't even recognize him anymore. He's a wildcard and I can't help but feel like he's dangerous."

"Dangerous how?" Heero snapped, trying to keep his voice from growling.

"I don't understand his motives—the why of all this."

"Do you think he'd hurt you?" Heero almost whispered, placing his body carefully atop Duo's so he could look straight into his lover's eyes.

"I don't think so."

"That did not sound convincing."

Duo shrugged. "Honestly, Heero, I have no idea."

"You will be the death of me," Heero groaned.

Duo reached up and tangled his fingers through his boyfriend's thick hair. "I'm that good in bed, am I?" he breathed, pulling Heero's lips to his and claiming a fiery kiss.

Heero wanted to talk this volatile band-mate issue through more but he was loath to speak when his mouth could be used for so many different things at the moment.

"You're not always going to get away with this," Heero warned as he lowered Duo's back onto the couch.

"But I am today."

"Hai," Heero whispered against Duo's ear, biting the shell and then abandoning it for that intriguing tendon that ran all the way down the side of Duo's neck when he threw his head back.

In a moment the age different exhibited itself. Heero was slowly moving his hands down Duo's sides, seeking to build the fire slow but instead of igniting a spark, the older man inadvertently lit a nuclear bomb. Duo had lost his patience and, as most people in such a state are, did not have the desire to try and find it again. He grabbed at the hem of Heero's shirt and pulled hard.

"I want it my way," Duo bothered to explain as he maneuvered to sit atop Heero all whilst stripping his shirt and adjusting so he could make a conquest of his lover's exposed body. Pale hands skimmed down olive skin, the contrast stark and erotic. As deft fingers latched onto the zipper of jeans, Duo's mouth began to follow the trail his hands had blazed. Heero felt as though he should not just be on his back, stationary, while Duo intently went to work, but the younger man seemed bent on having his way and that required Heero staying still.

Working the rest of their clothing off, Duo did not even attempt to make his way back up Heero's body. Instead he opted for a more direct approach and slid his tongue up the vein of Heero's manhood before closing his entire mouth around the organ and sliding back down. Heero snapped his jaw together, a groan that almost sounded like pain slipping through a constricted throat. Both of his hands gripped the cushions below him as he struggled and fought madly for control. God, Duo really might be the death of him…

"Haaa…!"

Duo chuckled as he heard his usually very stoic and silent lover cry out. The sound was rogue, unbidden by Heero and it made Duo hell-bent on hearing that sound again. The vibration of the chuckle pulsing around Heero's length elicited the response Duo was vying for.

"Bed," Duo gasped as he pulled off of Heero. "Now."

Heero sat up, his eyes dark with lust, as though night had fallen over the ocean. He made quick work of sweeping Duo up into his arms and kicking through the door to his bedroom. Duo shoved Heero back onto the bed and threw the bottle of lubrication at his lover, who caught it deftly. Resuming his prior position, the braided man straddled his lover. Figuring a pre-game show was in order, Duo moved Heero's coated fingers to his entrance and let his shy writer begin to stretch him. Confident he wouldn't hurt Heero, Duo began to move up and down the length of Heero's fingers, throwing his head back and riding the pleasure out; moaning whenever those lithe, agile fingers struck his prostate. Heero was bordering between watching Duo in awe and forcing his mind to more mundane thoughts to prolong his endurance. He was lost in one of his short bouts of distraction when Duo pulled his fingers out and positioned Heero's manhood.

For the second time, Heero was forced to take his eyes off Duo as his head flew back on its own accord and his jaw froze to stifle a scream that so desperately wanted to escape. Duo cried out, seating himself fully, hands splayed back on Heero's thighs. "Fuck yeah," he moaned.

Before even checking to make sure Heero was good to go, Duo began to move. At first the movement was slow and languid, the last attempt to stretch him so there would be no pain but once all resistance left his body, Duo changed his tune. He rose up sharply before dropping himself down forcefully, enjoying the harsh stimulation to his body. He felt Heero's hands on his hips and worried momentarily that his man was not into this, was going to stop him. But when he looked down, Heero's eyes were even darker and his expression was that of a man battling with himself.

"Fuck me," Duo whispered. "Please. I want it this way."

Heero let Duo impale himself several more times before he decided it was time to change positions and show Duo all that he could give. Duo let himself get flipped over onto his back, offering up no resistance when Heero pushed his legs back, knees to either side of his torso, and slammed home. Duo screamed out, the pleasure all most too much to take at once.

"This is what you want?" Heero growled, slamming in again.

"Yes! God, yes!"

Heero smiled triumphantly. He wanted Duo to think back to this the next time he was in a meeting or at band practice and feel his body jolt with excitement. Heero wanted to own Duo's thoughts and body. And if Duo wanted to be branded by fire, then Heero was more than happy to apply such a technique. As long as it was him and only him.

Duo reached between their bodies and stroked himself, too frantic to make the sweet torture continue for any amount of time. Each time his body was jounced by the sheer force of Heero's thrust, he exponentially fell to pieces. Needing the release being held right in front of him, Duo gripped his own length tightly and jerked roughly to produce what he desired.

"That's it," Heero breathed out harshly. "Reach for it."

That was all it took. Duo threw his head back and screamed Heero's name as his release coated his stomach. No more than two thrusts later he could feel the hot liquid of Heero's climax filling him. They both groaned together as Heero lowered himself down on the bed, too weak to hold himself up any longer. He was going to have to double up on his gym reps to be able to keep pace in bed if this is what it was going to take.

Duo let Heero pull him into a more comfortable position for sleep. There was no need for words anymore. Just the familiar and soothing silence lulling them into a dream world. As Heero drifted off he saw the face of an aging woman, elegant and regal, with matching blue eyes and intense glare.

"_Mom?"_

(O)(O)(O)

"Mom?!?"

Duo almost dropped the cup of tea he was holding when he heard Heero cry out. Heero was looking down at his cell phone in horror; his permanently composed demeanor stripped away entirely. He looked terrified, haunted…panicked. Duo's eyes widened when he saw that Heero was shaking so bad he could barely answer the phone and put it to his ear.

"Hai?"

Heero was quiet for a long moment and Duo sank a hip against the counter to watch the scene. Just as he put the tea to his lips Heero tore off into rapid Japanese. Duo choked and set the mug down to cough as silently as possible. He knew Heero was Japanese, raised in Japan for the most part but…Wow. He had never heard a man go so fluidly from perfect, accented English to perfect, accented Japanese in the blink of an eye as though neither language held sway over the other.

"Gomen…" Heero murmured, his head lowering as his left hand came up to massage his temples. "Gomen," he almost whispered the word for a second time.

Duo frowned and felt the need to walk over to Heero and comfort him but at the same time, he felt he should keep his distance to respect Heero's private conversation.

"Hai," Heero said for the last time before hanging up with a sigh. He looked at the phone for a moment and then over at Duo. He tried to smile but failed miserably.

"Can I ask what that was about?"

Heero shrugged. "In Japan…it is a huge, huge dishonor to leave a company that is just as responsible for making you famous as your talent. She heard about my decision to quit and wanted to call me and let me know that I bring dishonor to my family and that if I was not doing such a good job of hiding my true identity, she would disown me."

"Disown you? I don't see her holding much above your head…not even her affection."

Heero shrugged again. "It is more the symbolic impact she's going for since she knows she has no control over my life whatsoever. I really shouldn't let it get to me much but I've spent most of my life trying to please her and it always comes back to this."

Duo took a few tentative paces forward and then stopped. "Wait, that's not the only reason she called." He could see it in his lover's eyes. There was something bigger going on.

"I knew it was only a matter of time when that magazine came out—the article that pieced us together romantically. A close friend of hers sent it to the house, so when she got back into the country, she saw it."

"You could have written it off as rumor!"

"I'm already a deserter and a homosexual—I do not need to add a liar to all that."

"So being a deserter of a company that dragged you through the dirt and a homosexual is to be immoral and bad—worse than a liar even?"

"Duo…that's not what I meant…"

"Look, I'm already going to be late to rehearsal, so you can save your explanation for later. I'm not a purple-loving, rainbow-clad gay but at least I don't think I'm a worse person for the way I am. I'll talk to you later."

Heero flinched as the door closed with too much force. "What I meant was…you're too important to lie about," Heero said to the door.

(O)(O)(O)

Duo tried to turn the knob to the studio only to find it locked. Was he the first one here? Strange. With dismissive shrug, Duo took out his keys and unlocked the door to enter. After a few minutes of turning the lights on, he picked up his guitar and began to strum some random chords as he waited. Where was everyone? Quatre and Trowa were never late. Had he written down the wrong time? Wrong day?

Just as he went to set his guitar down to call, the door opened. "Sorry I'm late!" Treize called.

"I was just about to call—it's not like Quatre and Trowa to be late. I don't think I've ever used the keys to the studio!"

Duo heard the click of the lock and looked past the glass to see Treize walking towards him.

"Why did you lock it?"

"It's just going to be you and me today."

Duo stood, eyes narrowing on the approaching man. "What's going on?"

Treize set a small duffel back down and tilted his head to the side to pop his neck once. "You know Relena Peacecraft, right?"

"Millardo's sister?"

"Yes. She and her father actually co-own the company your boyfriend just left. The cat's out of the bag that Heero is starting a new company with Millardo. And though I'm sure he has his reasons, this is the world of business and he's stepped on some important toes along the way."

"Leave Heero alone," Duo warned.

"Oh, I have no intention of laying a finger on your precious inspiration. No, you see, Relena and I have a relationship of sorts. We keep in touch—especially when we find ourselves in mutual dilemmas. And right now, both of our livelihoods are being threatened so we've banned together to do something about all this."

"So what? You're going to kill me to ruin Heero?"

"No, you're no use to me dead. I need you alive to sing. But I need you under control and Relena wants to send a message to Heero. So, here's what we're going to do…" Treize lifted a gun and fired, the small whistling sound the only indication it had gone off. Duo clasped his stomach and looked down at the dart sticking out of his shirt.

"Don't worry. If you cooperate, you should be able to drag yourself home by dinner."

Duo fell to his knees, the world beginning to spin and tilt. He knew what was going to happen. He was going to be raped. As he fell completely to the floor he was so grateful he had had sex with Heero last night so that he was still stretched…and only because he had not wanted to talk about his assailant in the first place…how morbidly ironic…

(O)(O)(O)

It was the searing pain up his spine that awoke him, but it was not full consciousness. Duo's watery eyes tried to open as his body was pounded into the floor. He knew he was in a lot of pain but he was still too far under to feel it intimately. It was almost as though is mind was watching his body being taken. Another particularly sharp thrust and he heard a groan escape his throat, though he had not sent the message to his body to do so. Next to him, his dropped phone was open and the screen slightly cracked. He watched in a surreal kind of slow-motion manner as a text message lit up his phone.

From Heero:

You are too important to lie about. Love you. Please forgive me.

10:17AM

"Can you hear me, baby?" Treize grunted.

Duo just groaned in response.

"There is going to be no evidence of me being here, no fingerprints, no sperm, no car…nothing. So don't even think of accusing me of rape, especially since you take it up the ass daily with Heero. Second, if you try to quit, I will sue you for everything you are and could be for the next twenty years. Third, tell Heero that if he does form that new company, this will happen again and again until September. Understood?"

Duo tried to nod but all he could do was barely rub his cheek against the cool cement of the floor.

"Oh, and also, do not even try to avoid practices—because when I do get you, and I will, it will be so much worse than this. Better to just show up like your contract states. Saves you money and injury."

Treize pulled out and the pain from the withdrawal was almost as bad as the initial thrust that had awoken him. He felt a hand smack his bare ass once and heard Treize rummaging around and getting things together.

"Enjoy the rest of your day," Treize called in a friendly voice as he walked out of the studio and locked the door behind him.

Duo didn't try to move at first as the tears came. He just let them fall freely. He realized Treize had untied his hands when he had left and though his limbs were stiff from confinement and a shortage of blood flow, he managed to reach for his phone. At first, he pushed the keys 9-1-1 but before he hit send, he stopped. More tears, this time his body shuddered to accompany his crying. He had to call Heero. Deleting the three digits he dialed again, this time, seven keys.

"Hello?" Heero answered promptly.

"H-Heero?"

"Duo!? What's wrong?"

"I—I—I'm at the s-studio, p-p-please come get…get me."

"I'll be right there!" Heero breathlessly promised as he was already running out of the door of his flat. "Should I call the cops?"

"NO! Don't!"

"Are you hurt?" Heero pressed as he careened down the stairwell, too panicked to wait for the elevator.

"A…little…"

"Okay, Duo, stay with me. I'll be there soon. Stay on the phone, okay? Don't hang up! I'm getting in the car right now. Just let me hear you keep breathing."

Duo let the phone just rest against his ear as he continued to cry. He heard everything. The loud engine of the car roar to life, the squeal of tires, the sound of shifting, and all the while Heero's voice, clear and beautiful, telling him everything was going to be all right very soon.

(O)(O)(O)

AN: dun, dun, dun!!! Hopefully that wasn't _too_ bad for everyone's constitution. I had to water it down a little when I was revising… Well, only three chapters left to go. Please, please spare a moment to review! Much appreciated and everyone enjoy the upcoming weekend!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: From Dire to Dumas **

Heero already had the key to the studio in hand. Duo had given him the spare for safekeeping and though Heero had never planned on using it, he kept it on his keychain so it would not get lost as it was his task to make sure it never became as such.

He tore into the studio, calling out Duo's name but stopping short when he saw his lover lying on the floor, half naked, phone still to his ear, wrists and buttocks slightly reddened from abuse.

"Oh…God…" Heero whispered falling to his knees beside Duo. "Who did this?"

"Treize," Duo whispered. "It's a warning from Relena to not start the company and...a reminder that I'm on contract until September lest I want Treize to own me for the rest of my life."

"We'll call the cops…"

"He wore gloves and a condom. No evidence. And who is to say it wasn't you who stretched me out…" Duo was quiet for a very long time before he spoke again. "Heero…I'm so sorry."

Duo felt his pants being pulled back up and he was easily lifted into his boyfriend's arms. He kept his eyes downcast as Heero carried him to the car and buckled him in. He hadn't accepted his apology. Heero was mad. He wouldn't be able to forgive Duo for this. At long last, just as they reached the apartment, Duo looked up to plead with Heero one last time but what he saw changed everything.

Car off. Hands on the steering wheel. Head bent.

Heero was crying.

That cut through the haze of drugs immediately. Duo snapped to attention. "Heero? Heero, no. I'm sorry—I'm so sorry. I was sedated the entire time. I'm fine. We're going to make this fine…Heero?" Duo pleaded, reaching out to his love.

"I should have been firm enough to get answers from you first last night."

"God, Heero! I had no idea this was going to happen. It was not like if we had talked about it that this still wouldn't have happened and in a way it's good we didn't talk because…I was…stretched, so there were no injuries…"

Heero threw off his seatbelt and lurched out of the car. As Duo struggled to get out of the car, the handle was ripped from his grasp and Heero hauled him into his arms. Tears stained his usually flawless face as he carried Duo up the stairs to avoid the more frequented elevators. Once inside the apartment, Heero set Duo down on the bed and excused himself into his study. Duo flinched when he heard something shatter against the wall in the other room. A thud. Another thud. A crash.

Duo got out of bed, surprised that his back was letting him stand, and walked to the study, ready to duck at anything that flew at him. Heero stood in the middle of the room, books covering the floor, a glass ornament shattered on the carpet.

"I feel like I should have never called you during the awards…" Duo confessed. "Or maybe, I should have not sat down with you at that coffee shop."

Heero spun around. "For your sake, I'm sorry you ever did either. But for my selfishness, I am still glad you did…and I hate myself for feeling that. I thought to myself while we were driving back that I'd rather deal with this than having never met you. What kind of horrible person am I? Is there even a circle deep enough in hell for me to spend eternity in?"

"So…you want to work through this?"

"No, I want Treize and Relena to get away with all this!" Heero shot back sarcastically.

Duo just stared at Heero, blue eyes ablaze with anger, fists clenched, muscled chest rising and falling. This was not his introspective, timid, composed writer. This man was someone new. "What are you doing to do?" Duo almost whispered, afraid of the answer.

"Call in a couple of favors that I've been holding onto."

"Favors?"

Heero strode past Duo and put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Duo, I want you to soak in the bath for a while with the jets on so your back muscles don't lock up. I'm going to be on the phone for a while."

Duo made his way to the bathroom and ran the water, wondering what Heero had done in the past to have favors owed to him. Maybe he made some good friends in college he had never mentioned? Hm, either way, Duo would find out soon enough, that was for sure. In the meantime he needed to take this bath and knock out his homework for Monday. Ugh. He was beginning to feel like some fucked up superhero. Famous rock star living a dangerous and dark life on the weekends and hopeful, hard-working student by weekday. This was so much more than he had bargained for but then again…so was Heero. And, Duo thought as he sank into the tub and closed his eyes with a sigh, there was still no doubt that the pros outweighed the cons.

In the other room Heero held the ringing phone to his ear, tapping his foot impatiently. A female voice answered on the last tone.

"Une? It's Heero. I'm calling in that favor from a few years back."

Heero nodded a couple of times and wrote an address down on a slip of paper sitting on the counter. When the woman asked a question he replied, "I'm a Yuy and therefore I do not forgive those who attempt to damage or take what is mine away from me."

"But this man is no artifact dug up from a tomb," the woman replied softly, reminding Heero that they would not be going to court over a vase.

"Precisely. This is personal. I want those two socially executed or physically if that is what it takes. Whatever will debilitate them the most—and do it _silently_. I want this to be in the smallest print in the smallest newspaper available. They will not go out with a bang."

"Alright, Mr. Yuy, one vengeful, self-destructive plot coming right up. I'll be in town as soon as I can and we'll find our nooses—I mean—loopholes then."

"You know, despite being my illegitimate half-sister, you really didn't fall far the tree."

"Well, I thank you. I'm glad we'll finally be even after this. Maybe we can actually have a semblance of a sibling relationship."

"I may have exposed my father for what he was and earned you a right to our name but I'm still hell-bent on being the only disappointment my family has ever known. I don't share the spotlight well, so we're going to have to keep this casual."

"Do you protect everyone you know?"

"No. Only those that don't cross me."

"Ah, right. Almost forgot. A Yuy: defender of all who do not seek to offend him. Such a proud and burdened name you carry."

"I'll see you soon," Heero sighed, unsure of how much he liked his half-sister being able to see through him as though he were a window. He was not so used to being transparent but then again, she was far more astute than most people—that's what made her the best in her field…as a legal hit-man.

Heero walked silently to the bathroom, his mind ticking away at a million miles an hour, trying to find the loopholes already. Relena was conniving but not a genius and Treize just seemed to be a follower. There had to be a break somewhere in the plan. They just had to find it…

"How are you feeling?" Heero murmured, feeling more himself as he sat on the edge of the tub.

"A lot better."

"I put three pain killers out on the counter—you should take them when you get out of the bath. They're muscle relaxants as well. It'll help the bath continue to do its job."

"You're not angry anymore."

"I really wasn't angry to begin with."

"Then what were you?"

"Helpless. I felt helpless," Heero admitted in a quiet voice as he dipped his fingers into the water for a distraction. "You're right—there really was nothing I could have done to prevent what happened and that tells me it could happen again. I had to find a way to control this, to protect you."

"So you came up with something?" Duo whispered, too scared to even hope.

"Yeah, actually, I have a half-sister…my father had an extramarital affair and a couple of years ago she wanted to claim her right to our family's name. I helped her. It was the only vengeful thing I've ever done towards my family…I'm not proud of it, I hate speaking about it…but it bought me a favor with one of the world's greatest hit-men."

"She's a hit-man?"

"Not a shoot-em-up kind of one. She is a…vigilante lawyer. She can rule a courtroom. She'll get Relena in for life if that's what I wanted and lock Treize right up next to her for good measure. She can make anything happen all under the guise of legal justice."

"So, it's your father that donated all the diabolical genius genetics then," Duo murmured with a smile, trying to lighten the mood for Heero. It had not passed the braided man's attention that Heero had just divulged a major secret and confession. He was putting out his darker past for inspection and Duo didn't want Heero to feel anything but accepted right now. Together, they had to be strong. There had to be unity and love between them or things would never get better.

"Yes, that would be his legacy. Either way, Une is flying in and we'll put a case together. In the meantime, I need to call in one more favor from a doctor who owes me. You have mono—highly contagious, would ruin the band if you were around them. He'll fax your manager that note and that will give you enough time to stay away until we figure something out."

"I need to call Quatre and Trowa," Duo whispered. "They're my best friends—I want them to know the truth."

"Let's invite them over," Heero offered standing up. "I'm told I cook remarkably well."

Duo sat up so fast in the tub he nearly splashed water of the edge. "I thought you didn't like people coming into your apartment."

"_Our_ apartment. And if you want guests, we'll have guests."

"Heero, really, you don't need to baby me after…what just happened."

"I'm not…I'm just…I just want to make you happy—that's what's going to make me happy. That is what's most important to me and I felt that way before today—just not this intimately. It has a new depth and dimension and maybe in a way it's for the good."

"Psychological reasoning—defense mechanism," Duo groused.

"Fine. In Sum. Today scared me. I love you. You want it? You get it. At least until I'm seventy-five and I've gone too senile to remember this day. Get used to it." With that Heero stood and started to walk out of the bathroom. "Oh. And let me know if you need help getting out of the tub. I am going to call Dr. J."

(O)(O)(O)

Quatre whirled into the room like a sandstorm in the middle of the Sahara. Trowa did not even attempt to stay on his lover's heels. He just watched as Quatre threw his arms around Duo and both men stumbled to stay standing. Forest green eyes casually made their way over to navy blue ones, which stared back with equally mild interest. Both men nodded and then turned their watchful attention back to the two more affectionate men in the middle of the room.

"You have to tell me _everything_. I swear not to breathe a word of it after I leave. Trowa will make sure of it. I told him to break up with me if I did. And he'll do it! Won't you?"

"Oh, yeah, dropped like stone," Trowa assured sarcastically though monotonously all the while.

Heero choked aloud, trying hard to stifle a laugh.

"Oh, no…it begins. They bond," Quatre sighed dramatically.

"Well, Heero took the liberty of making dinner. So I suggest we all sit down and get started on the food before I get started on my story," Duo cut the happiness with a serious note.

Heero put a reassuring arm around Duo's waist as they all quietly assembled at the table and Duo started in on the phone conversations he and Treize had been having for a few months and by the time their plates were clean he was explaining the current plan of attack.

"I have a doctor faxing a diagnosis of mononucleosis to the house tomorrow morning and if Treize ever wants a biological sample presented in court, he'll have one ready."

"Sounds like you have all the bases covered," Trowa said mildly with little inflection but his eyes bore into Heero, demanding a justification for such an ability to strategize.

"Growing up in my family I learned two things—one: I would always be a disappointment and two: how to get any situation to work for me."

"I understood your parents were…anthropologists?" Trowa reached into his memory.

"Treasure hunters were the real professions beneath the flashy degrees and research. This often got them into illegal territory and the only thing more important than their next discovery was their reputation."

"Wow…it's not everyday someone comes up with a pedigree like that," Quatre laughed easily.

Heero shrugged. "Perhaps what they really wanted of me was to continue such a legacy and maybe my decision to go into literary arts was the break in their pride of me. It would be hard to justify sneaking into a tomb in Egypt to read some scriptures when my degree clearly states my historical knowledge only dates back to medieval Europe."

"You know," Quatre sighed, putting his wine glass down. "Ever since Treize started taking control with that manager, I haven't wanted to stay with the band either. This is supposed to be fun, fulfilling, but I have to drag myself to practice and pep-talk myself the entire time."

"We're being held back on our musical abilities as well," Trowa pointed out.

"Wait, you said Treize didn't start acting this way until he teamed up with the manager? What is his name?" Heero asked Quatre.

"It's a woman—Dorothy Catalonia."

Heero sat back and folded his arms. "That would be our link. She's one of Relena's best friends—or only friends…I'm not sure which one is accurate. That's how Relena hooked Treize."

"Who _is_ Relena anyways?" Quatre sighed, trying to put the pieces together.

"Millardo Peacecraft works for his father, who owns the company I wrote for and made famous. It turns out though that daddy's favorite is Relena who took an obsessive interest in me the moment I made a name for myself. I think the boiling point was when I announced I was quitting and the retaliation came when Millardo announced he'd be leaving with me."

"Revenge then?" Quatre murmured almost in disbelief.

Heero scoffed. "Hardly. This is business. They don't want to go under because Millardo, Wufei and I start our own company. So to stop us, they need to stop me. Any personal vendetta-laced flair would just be Relena's sick idea of fun." Abruptly, Heero stood and began to gather the plates, his eyes flat and cold. Awkward silence filled the room until he disappeared into the kitchen.

"I don't think he's coping too well," Duo whispered, his mind racing back through the days that had come after his attack.

Trowa understood perfectly. Just thinking about finding Quatre the way Heero had found Duo would be enough to send him over the edge. He admired Heero's composition but he could see it was frail. And besides, it was clear that Heero's actions had set Duo's rape into inadvertent motion. Though Heero was not to blame, he was not free of involvement either. Deciding to be of some use tonight, Trowa stood as well murmuring some excuse about helping with the dishes.

When he walked into the kitchen, he noticed Heero staring blankly down into the sink, water running over dishes, hands idly holding a glass under the faucet. Trowa approached him slowly and then nudged him out of the way to take over the dishes. Heero let his new comrade take his post as he hauled himself onto the counter and put his head back against the cabinets. In that moment, Trowa realized, Heero did not look to be in his later twenties. He looked like a lost teenager, unsure of how anyone was expected to thrive in such a world.

"You know, the sooner you can help yourself the sooner you can truly help Duo."

"I would rather have Duo raped than have given him up like I should have last fall." No inflection. No pitch.

Trowa was quiet for a few minutes, the clinking of dishes drowning out the silence. "Quatre's father disowned him when he discovered our relationship. Originally, Quatre had left me due to pressure from his father to marry—he grew up in a traditional society so prearranged marriages are not uncommon and almost protocol for the kind of wealth he was born into. But, I never fully left the picture, selfishly hoping he'd come back to me. And he did, with no resistance on my behalf. It was only a few weeks later his father found out about us and over a single night Quatre lost his last name, his home, his multi-billion-dollar inheritance, his open access to his beloved sisters…all he had was me, and it took me at least a year before I was able to forgive myself."

"But?" Heero murmured the unspoken words.

"But when Quatre was under his father's thumb he never smiled, he always looked wistful and exhausted. I remember the first apartment we moved into was probably the smallest, oldest, grimiest place I'd ever seen and Quatre couldn't stop smiling. He loved it. I told myself one day, as long as he keeps waking up smiling you've done the right thing. A life full of happiness is better than a life full of regret—no matter how much you have surrounding you. I couldn't regret making Quatre happier than he'd ever been."

"So you're saying I should realize that it is better that Duo was raped by my carelessness and still have me in his life than if I had left him or denied him."

Trowa chuckled darkly. "Heero, do you honestly think Duo wouldn't have been raped had you not gotten back together with him?"

"No, it would have still happened."

"Exactly, because you love him. And he loves you. Better for you to be his lover than just be in love with him during a time like this. Who would Duo have called? When would he have called? What if you two hadn't…had sex the night before?" Trowa whispered all the questions.

A low groan slipped from Heero's throat unbidden and he ran a hand over his face to stifle any more sounds that would leak out. "I know there is no point in hoping I hadn't quit the company because what's done is done and at least Duo did and does have me versus not but…"

"But what?" Trowa demanded, his green eyes blazing into Heero's.

"No amount of reconciliation with myself, with Duo, with the events that have transpired will give me peace…I need to see the look on Relena's face when everything, _everything_, is stripped from her when the world finds out what she did. I need to see her father being handcuffed and head bowed, humiliated, as he's escorted to prison…"

There was a wealth of shame in Heero's voice, his eyes averted to the floor. But there was passion there. A fire that would not be so easy to quell.

Trowa turned off the sink and began drying the last of the plates. "What you really want is for the truth to be exposed. You want justice."

Heero nodded. "But I am not foolish. I've read _The Count of Monte Cristo_; revenge consumes a man and to let truth destroy evil, to obtain such pure justice, takes half a lifetime for a moment of victory."

"Apart from the fact that it was written in the mid-eighteen-hundreds…it is a book, designed to entertain. The process does not translate to the real, modern-day world."

"A book…of course!" Heero exclaimed.

Trowa just stared in wonderment as Heero jumped up and strode quickly out of the kitchen. He had to force himself to walk past their small dining area to his study. "Quatre, it was nice meeting you. Duo, I'll be in my office for a while."

Trowa walked out to the dining area and the three men just watched in confusion and amazement as Heero closed the door and the dim light of the lamp and computer flooded from the crack under the door.

"Strange…" Duo muttered. "I dare say he's onto something?" he laughed weakly.

(O)(O)(O)

The first words typed into the document were not Heero's. Rather they were straight from Dumas' work, The Count of Monte Cristo. Heero wrote:

"_Until the day when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words,—'Wait and hope.'"_

Then Heero wrote his own words:

_Yet, I am not content to do either. I will act and I will procure what it is I seek. Read carefully these words for each is truth. Read, and the truth will reveal itself. Think, and the truth will become reality. Believe, and I will have my justice. _

Heero sat back and read what he had just written. A slow smile filled with wry mirth tightened his lips. Just a book. Designed to entertain.

"Well, let's just see where this one lands on the charts."

(O)(O)(O)

AN: first off, thank you for all the lovely and wonderful reviews this piece has received. We have two chapters left to go and I'll have them both up by the end of this week (meaning Saturday or Sunday). Second, and as always, hoped you enjoyed the 8th chapter. Thoughts/comments are always welcomed and appreciated. Have a wonderful Tuesday, everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

_Warning: graphic content, entirely consensual, borderline sappy and cliché at times. Read at your own risk._

**Chapter Nine: The End is Near **

Duo was sitting on the couch, finishing up a final chapter in a textbook when Heero emerged out of his study. Duo blinked when he felt Heero's lips press gently into his hair but decided it was best to keep quiet as Heero nuzzled his lover's head for a moment before simply resting his cheek there.

"I love you," he said in a low voice. "Hungry?"

"In a way," Duo breathed, setting his textbook down. He turned around to face Heero. "Baby, it's been a few weeks…"

Heero straightened up entirely and his eyes sought to settle on anything else in the room other than the beautiful man before him. "I wasn't keeping track."

"I want you," Duo said with no ado, his eyes boring straight into Heero.

"Duo…" Heero said on an exhale. "I—I don't know…"

Duo climbed over the couch, not even bothering to go around. "I do," he countered, reaching out to pull Heero in close to him. "Please."

"I don't think I can…" Heero replied, genuine fear in his voice as his lover pulled him towards the bedroom.

"Then just let me," Duo argued. He closed the bedroom door and pushed Heero hard enough to cause the man to fall back on the bed. Lifting his shirt and crawling into Heero's lap in one swift motion, Duo was quick to press slow, open mouthed kisses against the tendon lining Heero's neck. "God, Heero, seriously, I'm in my mid-twenties, you're fucking hot, you're mine…if you don't have sex with me I'm going to have to get a human right's lawyer." All of this was said in a low moan, Duo's hips already rocking in a gentle motion against Heero's.

"Duo, I just want to make sure you're emotionally ready for this."

In response, Duo shoved Heero onto his back. Slowly he began to undo his braid and Heero heard a gasp escape his own throat as the locks came undone. Duo looked…like a god.

"No one's ever seen my face when my hair has been down," Duo whispered as he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Heero's lips, his hair creating a curtain that shut the entire world out. "Does that turn you on knowing that you're the only one that's seen me this way?"

All Heero could really comprehend was how much Duo's voice was turning him on. Pitched low, sing-song, husky…God, it took him flying back to the first night in the club all those months ago. Though instead of having to watch from a distance all he had to do was reach up a few inches to feel exposed skin. Just like when they were dancing.

"Wait," Heero moaned, moving Duo off of him for a second. "I have an idea. Wait right there."

Duo tried hard to hold back the irritation beating at him. What was Heero trying to use as a diversion now? Before Heero returned though the sound of music, Korn, turned on. When Heero walked back in he was shirtless, too.

"It is a sin to look as good as you do for your age and the pathetic amount of exercise you get."

"You give me plenty," Heero said with a slow smile. He held his hand out as Shoots and Ladders began to play, the sound of bagpipes drifting into the room. Duo reached out and took Heero's hand; a matching smirk on his face. This was new for Heero…

Heero tugged Duo into his arms, pressing Duo's back hard against his chest as his hands went to Duo's hips to guide him in a leisurely grind just as the beat kicked in, hard and slow.

"Ah, you remember," Duo sighed as their bodies moved just the way they did the first night at the club. So maybe this wasn't so new after all…

Heero bit down slowly at the crux of Duo's neck and jaw before making small bites all the way down to the base of his neck where his collarbone dipped in. Somehow, this way, it was easier for Heero to let go. Times had been safer when they had danced this way.

It took immense control for Duo to just let Heero have his way. He could feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head as Heero's hands ran down his abs and over the flare of his hips before dipping into the waist of his sweatpants. Duo growled, turning in Heero's arms. His eyes glinted something dangerous. "You're going to have to man up and let go of the whole Treize thing because you're going to give it to me harder. _You're_ going to make me scream and you're not done until I do…" he purred, leading Heero back to the bed by forcing him to retreat with each step he took forward. "You're stronger than you look. I've seen it. Don't deny it—you've always held back a little, just to keep that control."

Doubt flickered briefly in Heero's eyes and Duo growled, pushing Heero back so hard that he actually grunted from the air that was pushed out of his lungs. "I will never forget what happened. That's not what I'm trying to do. Damn it, Heero. I am sick with the idea that the last thing in my body was him! I want you! I want everything you can give me. More than you've ever given me."

_I am sick with the idea that the last thing in my body was him…_

Heero hadn't thought about it that way. Everything went extremely still, his heart even stopped beating for a moment before this roar started from his toes and tore through his body like a tidal wave. He felt hot and cold all at once. In the space of a second, he pulled Duo to the bed, forcing the younger man to straddle him as they tore desperately to get their clothes off; the statement ringing loudly in both of their ears.

Duo cried out and then hissed as Heero pushed a lubed finger into his entrance. A few thrusts and then a second finger joined.

"Touch yourself. I know you want to," Heero growled as he put a third finger in. Duo's body jerked violently as he found his lover's sweet spot.

"H-Heero…" Duo gasped.

"We're just starting, lover," Heero assured in a dark voice. He spent a few more minutes stretching Duo and toying with his prostate before positioning his own member at the entrance and pulling Duo down slowly, centimeter by centimeter. "Don't. Rush. Me," he bit out when Duo tried to speed things along. Duo whimpered loudly at the sound of the command. At last, after what felt like the proverbial eternity, he was seated to the hilt and Heero allowed himself the pleasure of just feeling. He loosened his grip on Duo's hips and then whispered. "Go for it, love."

Duo moaned aloud as he lifted himself and then subsequently dropped himself back down onto Heero's length. "Oh…God…" he managed as he began to ride faster, harder. He felt the pressure of Heero's hands come back onto his hips as Heero began to help him pick up speed. The angle provided by sitting atop his lover allowed him to feel the trust all the way up to his stomach. One of Heero's hands came to Duo's leaking member and he began to stroke in time with the thrusts.

"Harder," Duo begged.

Heero stopped, withdrew, threw Duo down onto the bed and entered again in one swift thrust, bringing their mouths together in a heart-stopping kiss. Their tongues fused just as their bodies did and Duo felt like he could have passed out from the sheer joy of feeling Heero roll his hips deliciously in and out of his body. It was erotic, even for Duo's standards of the idea.

"Where did you learn that?"

"I'm an author. Half of my responsibility in such a career is to stay up-to-date on the latest literature. They just don't specify which genres."

Duo let out a husky laugh that swung into a cry as Heero braced a hand on either side of his head and then thrust hard. Duo's legs were wrapped tight around Heero's waist as the older man showed him just how much strength he possessed. Each thrust hit his prostate and Duo felt like he was going insane. He was losing his mind. His body hurt it was so tense and all he wanted was to come. His hand reached blindly down to his member and with only two pulls he felt the largest rush he'd ever experienced wash over him. He could vaguely hear his own voice scream out Heero's name before everything went white in front of him and he heard Heero groan into his ear as he collapsed. For what seemed like hours they stayed where they were, Heero only moving off to one side so Duo could catch his breath better.

"We talk too much during sex," Duo breathed heavily.

"I can't believe you're complaining," Heero breathed back.

Duo burst out laughing. "Oh God, the age difference is really showing right now."

"Ugh…" Heero rolled off the bed and made his way slowly to the bathroom, hands interlinked behind his head to help him get air into his lungs better. When he came back out with a warm rag, he was feeling paternal. He helped Duo clean off and tucked him under the covers as he made another trip back to the bathroom to put the washcloth in the dirty clothes and fill up a glass of water for them to put by the bedside. Sometimes, he suspected Duo took advantage of Heero being older to play up the advantages of being the younger one. "Tell me you finished your homework," he groused. "Because if having sex with a near-thirty-year-old causes you to do poorly in school I think I'm going to get struck down by smite-driven lightning bolts."

"You know, I don't think I told Quatre how old you are…huh…" Duo mumbled into the pillow.

"How much does it really matter that I'm going to be thirty next week?"

"_Next Week?!?_" Duo shot up, eyes wide. "I'm going to have sex with a thirty-year old next week. Oh…God…yes!" he cried dramatically, throwing himself into Heero's arms and collapsing in a sea of sheets and comforter. "I'm stoked."

"Thirty is not that old."

"No, you're right…but it's old enough to put a chip on your shoulder that you're sharing a bed with a twenty-five year old college rocker. Eh?"

"I took you out in public once and remember how that went?" Heero sighed, referring to the party for his movie announcement and Relena's first interaction with Duo. Searching Duo's eyes for comprehension Heero shook his head when all he found was Duo getting excited.

"Oh…baby…let's go out for your birthday. Please?"

"You're sick, remember?"

"I'll look near death. Promise!"

"Do you always get this hyper after sex?"

"Do you always get this tired?" Duo practically giggled.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" Heero spat as he threw the comforter over his head and buried into a pillow. "I'm going to sleep."

"Oh, come on! Let's do something. Let's play a game."

"A game?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of game?"

"Truth or dare."

"Yeah," Heero scoffed. "I have a Ph.D. you know, I'm not stupid."

"I pick truth. Ask me a question."

"Hm…will you go to sleep?"

"Heero!" Duo sighed as he pulled the covers off of Heero. He laughed when his lover groaned and put the pillow over his head. "Dare then."

"I dare you to go to sleep."

"Ugh, you're no fun."

"That's right. I'm old and I'm no fun. Now leave me in peace while I grapple with the thought that I just made love to an adolescent boy."

Duo fell back onto the bed and snuggled around the strewn blankets. "I'll tell you a truth. I was raised in a Catholic orphanage and I knew I was gay at the age of fifteen. Father Maxwell thought I was rebelling when I stopped coming to confessional and mass but I knew if he ever found out the truth he wouldn't love me in the same way anymore. He was that kind of guy. Not that I'm saying Catholics are, or anything. _He_ was. That was probably the hardest thing to live with. I could handle not being adopted next to that."

"I was engaged once. Arranged marriage. Told her parents I was gay and the beginning of the end was set into motion," Heero said in a sleepy voice.

"Heero…did you ever wish you weren't?"

"No, I just accepted it. Up until you, I was good at practicing acceptance."

"Until me?"

"I never really cared what happened to me. Some way or another I'd get through it. Rich or poor. Healthy or sick. But, obviously, I care about what happens to you and how you come out on the other side. I can't just accept things the way they are anymore."

"Is that why you're writing that book?"

"Yes. With your permission."

"Do you think it's really going to solve this situation?"

"A young man from a poor and sad beginning rises up through honest work to emerge as one of the nicest, most genuine, and not to mention most attractive icons of the year, if not the decade, with a quiet, brooding, and mysterious veteran on the scene choosing to stay in the background and watch his lover rise. The sharks, sensing fresh blood, descend and the poor young man is attacked and is carried off by his lover, out of public eye, and kept in a den while the older man seethes with the need to avenge his fallen lover. Knowing the ropes of the business, he seeks to use them to tie his enemy's noose and emerges with his only true weapon, a book, to right all wrongs…" Heero chuckled. "Audiences love nothing more than a real-life fairytale. Well, nothing more than despising a real-life villain."

"Our lives are not that dramatic."

"If I wrote simply: Duo was raped. Heero got pissed. Heero wrote a book explaining everything that happened. The media would spin it into something like I just said a second ago."

"You're ruthless sometimes."

"I know. Not one of my more redeeming qualities."

Duo didn't like the intonation of Heero's voice when he said that. He sounded defeated, ashamed. Worthless.

"I want you to publish that book. I want the world to know what Treize and Relena are. I want to be free of my contract, to sing what I want to sing, to go where I want to go and not be afraid. I appreciate that you're doing this for us."

"For you," Heero murmured. "Had you never returned to me I would still have done this."

"Sometimes you talk like you're just a phase in my life."

Heero rolled over and looked deep into Duo's eyes. "When all is said and done then you can decide if you really want to stay with me."

"Trust me, Heero, like I trust you. I know what I'm saying."

Heero smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll believe anything you ever tell me." Heero was quiet for a long moment. "This will all be over soon."

(O)(O)(O)

Heero doubted he had ever seen so many cameras in his entire life. The flashes were so frequent that there seemed to be a strobe light effect taking place. He just sat there, dressed impeccably, his face neutral, waiting for the fuss to die down. Shouts and near-screamed questions filled the room to the point of pandemonium. Millardo and Wufei sat next to him, just as stoic and composed. When it became clear that civility would have to kick in the lull died down and hands shot up. A man in an entirely black suit began to point.

"Heero, is it true that all the events in the book happened in real life?"

Heero nodded. "Yes. Of course, I had to pull myself back to write them in a way that did not sound sensationalized. It has been a very traumatic and angering experience for me and I wished only to convey the facts as coolly as possible."

"How is Duo doing?"

Heero's smile crept up just a bit. "Well, considering. School is demanding most of his time."

"Does Duo stand behind this?"

"He will testify that every word is true, if that is what you mean. And he does stand behind the idea as well. He wants to be free. I am trying my hardest to give him that."

"The man you refer to can only be equated back to Treize Kushranada in real life. Do you plan to press charges?"

"If that is what it takes to be free of him, then yes. It is up to him really if we get to that point. Him and Relena Peacecraft that is. Perhaps her father even if that's how deep it runs."

"You mention frequently in your book feeling somewhat responsible for what happened to Duo though it seems apparent there was not much you could do."

Heero had to fight back his predatory grin. The bait was being taken too beautifully. He leaned in towards the microphone ever-so-slightly. "I have been in this industry for a long time now. I fought my way up and I've seen the corruption, the deceit, and the damage it can do. For men like me, it's all part of a day's work. But for men like Duo…" Heero died off. "Duo has a talent. An amazing talent and it only made sense he'd get picked up someday. But his talent should have never condemned him to the pits of hell as it did. He is the nicest, most genuine, most gracious person I've ever had the honor of meeting. He came from nothing and deserved everything and just look what happened. I cannot help but feel I should have somehow been able to deter or stop what transpired. He deserves to be happy."

"What are your plans for the near future in resolving this matter?"

"I personally am ready for, and expecting, full retaliation from the guilty parties. However, if they choose the graceful way out then Duo and I plan to move out of the country and publish and record from a private location. We'll be in and out of the media depending on how lucky we remain and that should be that."

"What is the graceful way out?"

Heero looked dead into one of the TV cameras. "A full confession, a formal apology and a restraining order on my terms."

"Are you concerned for your safety?"

Heero did smile then. "No. I am not concerned for my safety. I am, however, extremely concerned for Duo's. I am taking every precaution to keep him safe and well."

"This situation has painted a very different picture of you, Mr. Yuy. We all thought you to be this quiet, brooding, withdrawn almost character-figure in the media who worked off of the cynicism and irony of mankind…"

"Well, that was quiet a description but yes, I did once own up to such an appearance. The truth would be that I wrote that way because I felt that way—I saw life that way. The first time I met Duo, he approached me to ask if I was doing okay in a coffee shop since I looked so putout. Yet, that was probably the last day I ever felt like that either. I owe him everything."

"Not once in your book did you ever come out and say you loved Duo. We can all assume you do but I'd like a direct quote."

"It is only important to me that he knows that but lest any of you believe I had any other motive than my love for him, I'll say it now: Duo, I know you're watching this with millions of other people, and I'm sure you're going to fall off the couch laughing in three seconds, so put your popcorn down…" Heero paused and then chuckled to himself, as though he couldn't believe what he was about to do. "Duo, I love you. You know that and I know that."

The reporters all broke out in an approving din of laughter and applause as the room began to strobe once again, trying to catch the first ever incident of Heero Yuy blushing.

(O)(O)(O)

_Duo, I know you're watching this with millions of other people, and I'm sure you're going to fall off the couch laughing in three seconds, so put your popcorn down…_

Duo's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped open. With shaky hands he put the popcorn down on the coffee table. There was NO WAY Heero would ever make a proclamation of love on national television.

_Duo…_

Oh, God, he was even using _the voice_. Duo leaned forward, intent that there would be a catch in about one second.

_I love you. You know that and I know that._

A small laugh burst, tore—_ripped_—from Duo's throat followed by a deeper chuckle and then full-blown hysterics. He laughed so hard his eyes welled up and eventually, yes, he did fall off the couch. Self-fulfilling prophecy be damned. He pulled out his phone was he was still laughing and speed-dialed Heero. He watched as Heero picked up on the phone through the TV.

"Thanks for warning me about the popcorn."

"My pleasure."

Duo hung up and laughed some more. Wow. That was the power he had over Heero Yuy. He'd never felt so god-like in his life.

(O)(O)(O)

AN: Alright, just one more chapter left to go!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have reviewed and commented through this process. It inspired me to write the two song fics I have and continues to lend me the bravery to publish what I write (yes, paint me a coward). Oh, and P.S., read carefully in the next chapter because only subtly do I mention Une's participation in the Peacecraft demise…which, is entirely on purpose so I thought I'd give a heads up so no confusion ensued during the conclusion!


	10. Chapter 10

_Warning: graphic-ish, not as bad as past chapters. And corny, sappy ending—even for my tastes. _

**Chapter Ten: Fade to End**

Treize sat at the top of the Peacecraft Building as he watched Relena pace frantically. Somehow, all the fight had slipped from him. He dared not to examine too closely all that he had done for Relena's cause and what it was about to cost him.

"We'll have to go to court," she hissed, running a hand through her bangs and then reaching out so slam her palm against the wall, hard.

The eldest Peacecraft, her father, just sat with his elbows on the table and his head bent. "He's willing to take a formal apology, Relena. Never again will you get away with this kind of criminal offense."

"It's only criminal if we admit to it!"

"I trusted you to get Heero Yuy back on our side or at least deter him from becoming a competitor, Relena and all you've succeeded in doing is ruining our reputation at least and driving us out of business at worst. This is a product of jealousy and immaturity and," he added with a dark look towards Treize, "weak-minded followers. And not only have I lost my best writer, I've lost my second-best writer, and my best manager which happens to be _my son_. No, you will write the formal apology, you will go onto national television to make it, and you will stay as far away as Heero says you will. I've had enough. Either you do this, or you're fired."

"There has to be a way…" Relena whispered, her eyes wide with panic.

"Relena, you lost—everything. We all mistook Heero's nature as a man willing to go to great lengths to avoid confrontation and a scandal."

"The Count of Monte Cristo," Treize scoffed.

Relena's father chuckled bitterly. "Never underestimate the Edmond's of the real world…they may just rise up through the flame and bring about your own downfall. We got what was coming to us. If we don't accept defeat now, we will only drive ourselves further down. I've made my decision Relena—apologize or pack up your office. I'm going to make some phone calls and see if there's still a chance to keep this company afloat."

Relena felt her legs go weak and she collapsed into the nearest chair. Just yesterday she had been so certain of everything. But now? Now there was no telling what tomorrow would even bring.

(O)(O)(O)

Heero worked hard to keep his breathing even and his heart rate down as he held Duo fast to his chest. His younger counterpart was fighting to hold tears back as they watched the live broadcast. Relena Peacecraft stood, head bowed, voice low as she confessed in an evasive manner before issuing an apology her father had written. She bit it out and though there was no apology in her voice the public knew by her confession that all that had transpired had happened and by virtue of wrongs being righted—they were free.

_We recognize that our company policy in accordance with the law states that retaliation is illegal and unethical. Though we come forward in hopes of staying out of the legal system, we do understand that the act of retaliation as well as some of the forms in which they transpired in are illegal and are subject to the court of law. We will be in contact with Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell for further negotiation... _

Relena put the paper aside and tried not too look too putout as cameras flashed furiously.

Heero pressed a series of kisses upon Duo's head and held the man tighter to him as Duo quietly broke down, shoulders shuddering. "I know there must have been a better way to handle this, Duo, and I apologize for what I've done to you just as much as what they did. You deserved none of this."

"Heero—" Duo tried to protest.

The older man's lips were upon Duo's tearstained ones in an instant, silencing him. "It will take me some time to let go of this feeling of responsibility. I still feel this would not have happened if I had not stepped into the picture and I am attempting to settle with the trade and accept that it was in the end, a good one."

Duo sighed. "As long as I have known you, Heero, your questions are endless and unforgiving upon yourself. I hope you can suffice with knowing that I would give everything to be here in this moment if it had to happen any other way. I love you and I know I always will."

"You can see into the future, then, can you?"

"No," Duo whispered, moving to straddle his sitting partner's legs. "I can see you."

The four simple words rocked Heero and moved the ground beneath his feet. He had to lower his head and fight to hold back tears of his own. His fingers bit into Duo's hips to hold the man where he was as he struggled to maintain his control. At long last, a low, husky chuckle escaped his lips and he shook his head. "I recall the lyrics of a ballad I once heard…_because I know when you look inside, you see the truths we all deny_. I understand this artist to be a wise man; do you think I should believe his words?"

"I think you should…I think you do…" Duo breathed out as his lips gently found Heero's. The first touch of their lips started a violent rush of heat, passion and desperation between them as reality sank in and their mouths fused together as they sank down onto the couch. Duo groaned with delight as Heero moved to pin him hard into the cushions. In wordless understanding, both men worked quickly at divesting the other of their clothing and when their bare bodies made contact it was Heero who hissed as he fought to keep his sanity and Duo who cried out, relinquishing his all together.

"Now," Duo pleaded after a few short moments of Heero playing with his nipples and skirting his manhood. "I'm ready."

Heero was too blind with passion to disagree as he usually did. He pushed Duo's legs up against his sides and just as he moved to sheathe himself his cell phone rang with a ringtone that indicated it was Millardo and it was urgent.

"Answer it," Duo panted, about to come just from the sheer tightness of his body. He gripped both of his legs hard to hold still and control himself long enough for Heero to take the call.

"What?" Heero demanded, knowing his heavy breathing was going to give away the reason for his impatience.

"I won't keep you since you're in the middle of something," Millardo's cold but amused voice spoke from the cell phone. "But you might want to hurry it up since you have a plane to catch in two hours…unless you forgot your film is up for movie of the year and you reserved two seats at the ceremony. Though, I also have the feeling that your brain is not receiving too much blood at the moment."

"We'll be there," Heero assured before hanging up the cell phone and throwing it over the couch. Neither man heard where it landed as in that short span of time, Heero had turned just enough and sank his manhood entirely into Duo's waiting body—the scream Duo emitted far louder than the thud of the phone on the wood of the floor.

Heero reached past Duo for the armrest to use as leverage as they began to thrust with wild abandon against each other. Duo's hands were all over his body as he sought to anchor himself but found no surface that wasn't damp with perspiration. At last his hands settled on the small of Heero's back as he urged the man to thrust harder. The tactile cue of Duo's hands on his back caused Heero to shift his angle ever so slightly and the result came in the form of a loud shout from Duo's exposed throat as his head snapped back. Two more trusts as such and Duo exploded all over his stomach. The sight was too much and Heero was only a few thrusts behind as Duo's walls cinched tight and unrelenting.

Duo felt that the sound of his breathing filled their entire flat as he attempted not to hyperventilate. Heero pulled out and let that signature free, husky laugh that was present when his ego was particularly stoked erupt. Duo cracked one eye open and attempted to glare when Heero bestowed a playful smack on his ass. "Ah, it's good to be thirty. Come on you twenty-something—don't lie there like an old man, we have to pack."

"I'm basking here," Duo groaned into the couch.

Heero pressed a kiss into Duo's sweaty head before walking, stark naked, towards his bedroom to pack. It never failed to amaze Duo how cold and distant Heero was in public but how warm and loving he was in person. It was Duo's greatest treasure—to know that intimate side of Heero. Who would ever guess that Heero Yuy kissed, hugged, and used pet names?

Heero had to shut the bedroom door lest he give into the temptation to look out into the living room and see his gorgeous god sprawled out, exhausted, on his sofa, knowing full well it was due to their lovemaking. Just the thought caused Heero's cock to twitch slightly. He looked down just briefly and had to bite back an ironic laugh.

"God, maybe thirty is the new twenty after all…" he mused aloud before laughing.

Duo heard laughter drifting from the bedroom and curiosity pulled too hard at him. He stood up and walked to the bedroom, opened the door and tilted his head as though he'd understand better when he saw Heero shaking his head at himself.

"What?" Duo asked.

"Do you think this is normal for a thirty year old?" Heero asked, turning, to demonstrate his half-erect member.

"How…?"

"Just…thinking about you…us…" Heero couldn't help but laugh.

Duo walked up to Heero and dropped to his knees, eyes still locked on his lover. "I propose we just dress, get on that plane, and hop right back on after the show…we'll get arrested otherwise."

Heero laughed and then groaned when the beautiful mouth closed over him. Outside, he heard his phone ringing again and he just closed his eyes, smile encompassing his face and his heart.

Everything was going to be okay.

Better than okay…it was going to be great.

(O)(O)(O)

***DECEMBER, SIX MONTHS LATER***

_MEN OF THE YEAR_

Heero looked at the pictures. One of him when he went to the movie premiere alone. One of Duo when he was singing in the studio. But the largest picture, the one that covered most of the page, was of them, standing together at the award ceremony.

Duo had his hair down, wild, untamable, his eyes still hidden by the infamous fedora hat. He wore a silk shirt that was rolled just past his elbows and a tight fitting vest that boasted silver pinstripes. Tight black pants and pointy leather shoes. He had the most content, smug and sexy smile on his full lips as he leaned into Heero's embrace. Heero had his arm wrapped tight around Duo, wearing a black and gray suit, nodding at some man just out of the picture.

"Almost ready, baby?" Duo called from the kitchen.

"I'm ready when you are," Heero called back. "Our Men of the Year fiasco got put in a couple magazines."

"I think it's pretty cool—how many couples get to say they share an award?"

"I don't even know how I got nominated."

Duo wrapped his arms around Heero from behind the couch and kissed the man's neck slowly, leisurely, with intent. "I'll have to show you tonight."

"Yes, I'm sure it was my sexual prowess that got me a nomination."

Duo just laughed and snatched the magazine. "Quit reading this shit—you'll become vain. Let's go! Quatre and Trowa will be waiting!"

Heero allowed his lover to draw him from his comfortable perch on the couch and out of the apartment. He bit his tongue when he thought about referring to a small headline under the legal section of the newspaper this morning. Duo didn't need to be bothered at the moment but the dissolution of the Peacecraft Corporation had been made official by a vigilante lawyer who had risen out of obscurity.

Heero's mind continued to try to sort out the future as they drove to their destination. Would there be retaliation for the dissolution of the company? Would they even know to come after him? Had Treize truly been a pawn or had he really wanted to commit the crime he had?

"Baby?" Duo murmured in a low voice.

Heero turned the car off and then offered a crooked smile to Duo. "Just thinking…worrying."

"Is this what being thirty does to a man? If so, God, I'm scared."

"Spare me the histrionics," Heero laughed as he opened the door for Duo and helped him out. They strode hand-in-hand into the restaurant and though all eyes turned to them, it was becoming the norm and they hardly noticed. "It will be such a relief when a big story breaks and we get some reprieve from this media-driven attention," Heero confessed as he sat down at the table Quatre and Trowa were already seated at.

Quatre cleared his throat and Duo gasped as the door opened again behind them. "Dear God," Duo breathed. "Ask and you shall receive."

Heero turned over his shoulder just in time to see Millardo walk in with Wufei's hand in his. Both men looked calm and content. In love.

Heero had to stifle back a laugh or a choke, he wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, as the couple approached them. "Millardo, truly, had I known about this leverage, I would have just quit and enjoyed watching you run after us—rather than offer."

Millardo shook his head and then offered a tentative smile to Wufei. "I probably would have done it, too, but I have some form of a reputation to uphold—unlike you, Yuy. The world mourns the loss of their cold, brooding author; murdered by a warm, smiling, domestic _do-nothing_ author."

"I'm going to show you what a true hiatus looks like one of these days," Heero challenged. "But in truth, I have a pet project that's coming to life."

"Pet project?"

"It's been touch and go until a few weeks ago. I'm thinking about branching out and taking a small risk."

"Dear God, what is it? Science fiction?"

Duo bit out a laugh and Heero just sighed. "No, I think I'm going to go back to romance for a while."

"Romance?" Trowa spoke in his neutral, low voice though his eyebrow rose sharply.

"Oh! Wonderful!" Quatre exclaimed.

"Please," Wufei groaned. "The last time I had to title a romance piece for you, I couldn't sleep for weeks. Reading your idea of romance was enough to give me nightmares…"

"I already have a title," Heero assured. "You're spared."

"What is it?" Quatre exclaimed.

"_In the Arms of the Enemy_."

"Sounds safe enough," Millardo conceded. "Truthfully, we'll have to spread our genres out in the beginning to get a wide following and venue support." Millardo sipped at his water. "So, when's the next performance?"

"In two weeks. Small café gig. No media announcements. We're getting paid twenty-thousand to make an appearance," Quatre breathed. "It still seems like an ungodly amount."

"Which café?" Heero asked, confused as to why Duo hadn't mentioned it.

"A particularly special one in my heart," Duo whispered as he pressed a tender kiss to Heero's neck since he couldn't reach his cheek. "I found the love of my life there."

"What? That depressed author you turned into a lovesick puppy? Duo, you are doomed if you think Heero is the love of your life—and by God, if we aren't saved because of it," Millardo announced. He held his glass up and waited until the other men followed suit. "To love—forbidden, unexpected, difficult, tragic as it is joyful and of the caliber that makes songs worth singing and books worth writing."

"Stick to management, Peacecraft," Heero groused as they all toasted and broke out into laughter. "And spare the paparazzi the poetry when they come knocking late tonight."

"Yes, we can all learn from your world-wide confession. If that wasn't a ploy for Man of the Year, I don't know what was," Millardo shot back.

"Someone has to take a hit for this company," Heero shrugged casually.

"Especially when your debut romance novel hits shelves. We might need to make the Man of the Year award in larger print than the title," Wufei interjected.

"It'll sell," Heero continued in his complacent voice though his eyes went soft. He set his eyes on Duo. "I've never had inspiration like this before."

"I'll never understand how you two make a relationship work," Wufei muttered under his breath.

Duo beamed. "Simple," he supplied. "With words."

(O)(O)(O)

AN: well, folks, that is it for now. I've got my bags all packed and a plane ticket with my name on it, so I'm on a small hiatus of my own for a bit. I do hope to write once I'm settled overseas so don't put me entirely out of your minds. I still have to make good on a song-fic follow-up. Thank you everyone for all your support and happy trails!


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